THE LAZARUS EFFECT

Poffy The Cucumber

Dead on Arrival. THE LAZARUS EFFECT, about a team of scientists trying to bring people back from the dead, ironically loses its effect when the person brought back from the dead starts killing people. Talk about wasted opportunity! In the grand tradition of PET SEMATARY and FLATLINERS, documentarian David Gelb (on his first feature) directs a movie that thrums with … Read More

IN TIME

Poffy The Cucumber

Money Is Time Is Life. Time is money. Time is life. Time is everything IN TIME; a prescient concept underlying an enjoyable actioner that seems urgently plausible because we’re actually living it now. Justin Timberlake stars as Will Salas in this ingenious thought experiment by writer-director Andrew Niccol (LORD OF WAR), where people are genetically engineered to live until 25, … Read More

THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE

Poffy The Cucumber

The Incredible Jim Carrey (and the Soporific Steve Carell). Steve Carell is not a terrible comedian. Yet I still wonder how he gets starring roles as a comedian. Carell is THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE, a successful – yet boring – entertainer (much like Steve Carell), who must get his magician’s tricks and personal licks up to speed, to stave off … Read More

COWBOYS AND ALIENS

Poffy The Cucumber

A shallow ripple in the Force. Is COWBOYS AND ALIENS a boring western movie, or a clichéd alien invasion movie? At some point, I wondered whether it was just a tax write-off for Stephen Spielberg, who seems to have phoned in his producer’s credit on this one. At least he hired Han Solo. A cowboy (Daniel Craig) wakes in the … Read More

THE CHANGE-UP

Poffy The Cucumber

Another change-up, another plage-up. How many times have we seen this movie? THE CHANGE-UP is the latest mystical body-switching movie from the venal plagiarists in the Hollywood Cookie Cutter Industrial Complex who have the audacity to call themselves writers. At least it’s funny. Mitch (Ryan Reynolds) and Dave (Jason Bateman) are best friends but lead diametrically opposite lifestyles – Mitch … Read More

TRON: LEGACY

Poffy The Cucumber

Spandex Wonderland. My eyes hurt. Can you dial down the neon knights to a 7, guys? When I viewed the first trailers for TRON LEGACY, and saw that Jeff Bridges was involved, it was straight past buzz cool to grade school jubilation, “Ooh man! Yeees, my son!!” Jeff Bridges reprising the role that made his man-area famous for his tiny … Read More

YEAR ONE

Poffy The Cucumber

The Year of Living Safely. Either Jack Black is being reined in with a poor script, squelched by a conventional director, or he’s just plain gettin’ too old for this shit. Maybe a combo-wombo of all three? YEAR ONE is a missed comedic opportunity, crying in the wilderness like Charlton Heston as Moses; a biblical comedy of pamphlet proportions. Black … Read More