THE LAST DAYS ON MARS

Poffy The Cucumber

Martian Cold War. Life not as we know it takes down a Martian expedition. It’s a cold, people. Bacteria. Great, and I forgot to pack the Vicks Vaporub… THE LAST DAYS ON MARS boldly breaks conventions even whilst being one big convention. Within the framework of this clichéd thriller, writers Sydney J. Bounds and Clive Dawson, and director Ruairi Robinson … Read More

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THE POSTMAN

Poffy The Cucumber

Going Postal for ‘Pocalypse. Not another apocalypse! This time, Kevin Costner’s to blame. Hey, wasn’t he responsible for the apocalypse in WATERWORLD as well?… I hate the word ‘apocalypse’ – not the word itself, which is very… uh, apocalyptic.. but its misunderstanding and its consequent misuse. It means, literally, a “lifting of the veil” or “revelation” but because ‘Apocalypse’ was … Read More

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THE GHOST WRITER

Poffy The Cucumber

Ghost in the Machine. Ewan McGregor is hired as a GHOST WRITER to liven up the memoirs of disgraced British ex-Prime Minister Adam Lang (Pierce Brosnan), an obvious analog for Tony Blair puling at the feet of the American administration then rewriting his legacy to make it sound like he wasn’t a lapdog. Spirited to a hideaway island, presented with … Read More

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X-MEN: THE LAST STAND

Poffy The Cucumber

X-eunt in X-asperation. Action without heart. Spectacle without logic. Brawn without brains. Director Brett Ratner balances on Bryan Singer’s shoulders, attempting to hold up the mutant world Singer so reverently rendered in X-MEN (2000) and X-MEN UNITED (2003). But he falls off – and helms X-MEN: THE LAST STAND, the third in the x-franchise, with as much reverence and talent … Read More

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