AREA 51

Poffy The Cucumber

Some footage should just stay unfound… I… HATE hand-held camera movies! Makes me sick. Literally. I’m nauseous watching these idiot characters filming every single second of their narcissistic lives with Irritating Shaky Cam. A “found-footage” film, AREA 51 joins a growing list of Irritating Shaky Cam movies that RUIN – d’you hear me, filmmakers? – RUIN any story the film … Read More

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PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2

Poffy The Cucumber

Are We Scare Yet? They should remove the word “Activity” from this movie’s title. Note to filmmakers: after nothing happens on camera for two minutes, no need to keep the camera running for another two minutes, guys. The problem with PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2 is that it’s already been done – far better – by its own predecessor. It was innovative … Read More

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PARANORMAL ACTIVITY

Poffy The Cucumber

Pants Not Normal Activity. Gonna get this PARANORMAL ACTIVITY party started by insulting “you people.” You People know who you are: believe in demons, astrology, gods, ghosts, angels, woobies… I make this distinction because this film’s impact on a non-superstitious cucumber is very different to its effect on You People, who take it for granted the events in this indie … Read More

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