MAZE RUNNER: THE SCORCH TRIALS

Poffy The Cucumber

Out of the maze, and out of ideas. Well, there’s no maze, no scorch and no trials. Why then, is this movie called MAZE RUNNER: THE SCORCH TRIALS? This movie’s predecessor, THE MAZE RUNNER (2014), had an interesting hook – the Maze itself, which held our heroes trapped within it; the all-consuming sinister element of the story. In this sequel, … Read More

THE MAZE RUNNER

Poffy The Cucumber

This is how we Pac Man now. Sometimes the simplest ideas make the best movies (SAW, BURIED, MISERY, ALIEN). But sometimes the simplest ideas are just simple ideas. Emphasis on simple. THE MAZE RUNNER strands a teen dream amongst a community of other teen dreams and watches him cause havoc amongst the hierarchy with his plans to escape this perfectly … Read More

CARRIE 2002

Poffy The Cucumber

Snoozefest in Red. CARRIE (2002) is the TV movie remake of the 1976 Brian De Palma feature film, from the Stephen King novel of the same name. And it shows. Director David Carson (STAR TREK GENERATIONS) seems so acutely aware of his film’s low production values, he thinks he can make up for them by adopting the method of MTV … Read More

LARS AND THE REAL GIRL

Poffy The Cucumber

It’s a doll house – a DOLL HOUSE! Shy, reclusive Lars one day buys a Real Doll named Bianca, lavishes all the emotions of a real relationship on her – love, jealousy, impatience, happiness – and doesn’t have sex with her. In other words, he’s having a real relationship. Written by Nancy Oliver (SIX FEET UNDER), directed by Craig Gillespie … Read More

SHUTTER ISLAND

Poffy The Cucumber

Just dropped in – to see what condition my condition was in… The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. –John Milton, Paradise Lost. What a beautiful, sophisticated, mind-leveling thriller! SHUTTER ISLAND is not “scary,” but creepy, disturbing and filled with enough tension and intrigue to drown a plush … Read More

EASY A

Poffy The Cucumber

THE SCARLET LETTER for Generation Nerd. How quaint: Emma Stone pastes a letter ‘A’ onto her A-cups. Drawing heavily on Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, EASY A brings the 17th century pariah adulteress into modern times, setting the story in an American high school, where outcast Olive (Stone) does a favor for a gay nerd at her school by pretending … Read More

WHATEVER WORKS

Poffy The Cucumber

Whatever WHATEVER is, it works. Not exactly romantic comedy, not exactly drama, not exactly normal. After dabbling in Euro filmmaking that exposed another wondrous dimension of his filmmaking talents, Woody Allen is back in his native New York with a curmudgeon vengeance in WHATEVER WORKS. I’ve always thought of Larry David as a crunchier Woody Allen. As the star of … Read More

ALL THE KING’S MEN 2006

Poffy The Cucumber

…couldn’t put this movie together again. At least Sean Penn doesn’t use ALL THE KING’S MEN as another vehicle to showcase his talent for crying on cue. With a down-home accent that needs subtitles more desperately than Mel Gibson’s ocker in MAD MAX needed overdubbing, Penn plays Louisiana politician Willie Stark, a rambunctious gadfly who attempts to usurp power from … Read More