ANT-MAN AND THE WASP

Poffy The Cucumber

Quantum Cop-Out! ANT-MAN AND THE WASP cops out on its grandest concept – the quantum realm! In ANT-MAN (2015), Dr. Hank Pym warned Ant-Man not to turn off his regulator, for fear of shrinking too small and entering the Quantum Realm, “…where all concepts of time and space become irrelevant as you shrink for all eternity.” The key phrase – … Read More

ANT-MAN

Poffy The Cucumber

Ants with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads! Who woulda thought OUR IDIOT BROTHER would become a superhero? Paul Rudd is the eminently likable yet totally miscast lead in Marvel’s ANT-MAN, a movie with excitement as small as its titular hero. Master electrician and not-so-master burglar Scott Lang (Rudd) is recruited by reputable scientist Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) to … Read More

CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR

Poffy The Cucumber

Captain America: Bromance War. Captain America versus Iron Man in a battle to the bromosexual. When The Avengers try to stop a terrorist from killing civilians, and end up killing civilians themselves, the United Nations steps in and calls a halt to their devastating pearbottoms. General Ross (William Hurt, playing a character from Hulk lore, in this movie where the … Read More

ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES

Poffy The Cucumber

The Corporatization of Dumbification. There are a few above-average jokes in ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES, but most of them are quite average. Underpinning the plot of a TV news anchorman struggling to find meaning in his job and love life, there is the cheeky indictment of the vapid 24-hour news culture and, by association, indictment of all those responsible … Read More

SNL 40

Poffy The Cucumber

Celebrating 40 Years of Stunning Mediocrity. The American comedy institution SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE continues its tradition of not being funny, by throwing a 40th Anniversary Special and not being funny. SNL 40 is not only Not Funny, it’s embarrassing, pathetic and painful. Why do these people put themselves through this? Why do they put US through this? Why do audiences … Read More

OUR IDIOT BROTHER

Poffy The Cucumber

Our Idiot Movie.  A gentle, gullible soul causes problems for his three sisters with his big mouth. OUR IDIOT BROTHER is Paul Rudd. Busted for selling dope to a police officer (who was in uniform and asking for dope), Ned (Rudd) has just exited jail, with no job and nowhere to live, so juggles his time between his three sisters, … Read More

THIS IS 40

Poffy The Cucumber

This is Soporific. Writer-director Judd Apatow’s “sorta sequel to KNOCKED UP” is sorta not as good as KNOCKED UP. THIS IS 40 shows us how boringly randomly arbitrarily mundane and unnecessarily complex life over 40 becomes. Like anyone under 40 will care, and like anyone over 40 will care less. Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann (Apatow’s real life wife) play … Read More

FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL

Poffy The Cucumber

I’ve already forgotten. Forgettable romantic comedy about a jilted guy who takes a Hawaiian vacation alone to forget the girl who jilted him, only to find she is on the island, in the same hotel, ultimately in the room next door – with her new boyfriend. Beige, uncomfortable laughs ensue. Redeeming factors of FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL: Judd Apatow is producer, … Read More

DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS

Poffy The Cucumber

Movie For Schmucks. Steve Carell is a schmuck. And in DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS, Steve Carell is a schmuck, a bothersome new friend of Paul Rudd, who is not exactly a schmuck, but can’t seem to break into that comedy leading man status that he deserves. We presume his agent and manager and reader must be schmucks. Carell and Rudd do … Read More

ROLE MODELS

Poffy The Cucumber

Old rockstars never die – they just become movie references. Any movie that is such homage to KISS can’t be all that bad. KISS is, after all, the role model for four generations of rock bands. Beth, Rock and Roll All Night, Love Gun, Detroit Rock City – sung or heard as source music; a KISS pinball machine; Seann William … Read More

MONSTERS VS ALIENS

Poffy The Cucumber

Monstrous Alienation. MONSTERS VS ALIENS is a suitably giggly concept, well executed in 3D animation, well written, with funny characters and a straightforward storyline that kiddies will understand. Yet it fails for a fundamental reason – it advocates Guantánamo Bay! Whoa! Poffy’s gone insane! Comparing a kid’s cartoon to President Bush-Cheney’s war crimes. But think carefully now: As a human … Read More

THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN

Poffy The Cucumber

Most fun you can have not having sex. Judd Apatow’s THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN has a premise which is utterly ridiculous, a story utterly preposterous and a cast utterly hilarious. Steve Carell is Andy, the eponymous 40-year-old virgin, enjoying his bachelorhood working at an electronics store by day, painting action figures and playing video games by night. After Andy’s … Read More

KNOCKED UP

Poffy The Cucumber

Stretchmark Benchmark. Marriage is an institution. And you have to be crazy to be in an institution. — Gene Simmons. One could say KNOCKED UP is writer-director Judd Apatow’s baby – and as malformed as the rest of his hobgoblin brood. Seth Rogen is Ben, a shiftless layabout (rooming with a menagerie of oafs: Jason Segel, Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill, … Read More

ROMEO AND JULIET 1996

Poffy The Cucumber

More Comedie Than Tragedie. All I’m saying is: Leonardo DiCaprio should stop being prettier than his female co-stars. In ROMEO + JULIET, snub-nosed Claire Danes bravely steps up to out-femme Leo’s manly prettiness. And fails. Leonardo is Romeo (kinda archly poetic, no?) and Claire is his Juliet. Shakespeare‘s retelling of Ovid’s Pyramus and Thisbe is retold with creative conceptualizing and … Read More

ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY

Poffy The Cucumber

When The Anchorman was Man-Anchor. Will Ferrell makes me laugh. I’m not afraid to say it anymore. His shamelessness knows no bounds and I, for one, salute his strangely misshapen nude torso. In ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY, Ferrell is the blowhard, brain-soft title character, in love with his own self-proclaimed legend. And why not? His veteran standing and … Read More