ALWAYS BE MY MAYBE

Poffy The Cucumber

Crazy rich and poor Asians. Alright, Hollywood, we get it: POVERTY IS NOBLE! How many times must you beat us across the ‘nads with this demonstrably fallacious message? ALWAYS BE MY MAYBE follows a young girl and guy couple from their middle-class friendship in grade school to their adult lives in two very different social classes, constantly pounding pounding POUNDING … Read More

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AQUAMAN 2018

Poffy The Cucumber

Will make you wet. AQUAMAN graduates to jewel of the DC Comics universe, as it finds a perfect mix of action, humor, sex and surf. An American screenwriter’s dream come true, for its fishy foreshadowing and porpoiseful payoffs (couldn’t resist!); an origin story and a high sea adventure, an undersea war and a touching family redemption. It’s got everything, from … Read More

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ANT-MAN AND THE WASP

Poffy The Cucumber

Quantum Cop-Out! ANT-MAN AND THE WASP cops out on its grandest concept – the quantum realm! In ANT-MAN (2015), Dr. Hank Pym warned Ant-Man not to turn off his regulator, for fear of shrinking too small and entering the Quantum Realm, “…where all concepts of time and space become irrelevant as you shrink for all eternity.” The key phrase – … Read More

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THE INTERVIEW 2014

Poffy The Cucumber

The Propaganda Never Starts… Two American talk show numbnuts score an interview with the dictator of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, and try to assassinate him in the process. It’s THE INTERVIEW, banned by everyone gutless enough to believe the threats of North Korean nationalist hackers who said they would bomb theaters that screened it. How they planned to do that … Read More

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