SICARIO

Poffy The Cucumber

When Right is Might, and Wrong is Hot Sauce. In the 21st Century, great corporations will bestride the Earth, replacing nations as the true creators of history, amassing powerful private armies to do their bidding. But in delicate situations, they need matters adjudicated on a single day… by a solitary man. — WAR, INC. (writers: Mark Leyner, Jeremy Pikser, John … Read More

TIN MAN 2007

Poffy The Cucumber

Choking on the Yellow Thick Chode. Honestly, I don’t know how Zooey Deschanel continues to get work. In TIN MAN, a re-visioning of L. Frank Baum’s THE WIZARD OF OZ, Zooey is ersatz Dorothy, named DG (oh, that’s soo street-cred!), lost in the magical world of O.Z. (the Outer Zone – oooh! That’s even more street!), and aided by three … Read More

APOCALYPTO

Poffy The Cucumber

An Epic Fable in a Jugular Vein. MEL GIBSON’S APOCALYPTO is a bone axe to the cervical vertebrae at the base of the skull; jungle-wild beauty juxtaposed with bestial brutality, exceptionally well-executed. Emphasis on executed. Though an ominous quote by Will Durant opens the film (“A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within”), … Read More

HIGHLANDER III: THE SORCERER

Poffy The Cucumber

There Can Be Only One… er-Three…uh- Seven? Twenty?.. I dunno, does 43 sound about right?… HIGHLANDER III: THE SORCERER should heed its own slogan: “There can be only one.” There should have been only one – one HIGHLANDER film, that is. Each sequel drives another vapid nail into the bottomless coffin that has become the HIGHLANDER franchise. HIGHLANDER was a … Read More