Jackass and Jackassier. Flash uses his super-speed to time-travel into the past to stop his mother’s murder. And meets his younger self. And discovers he’s a jackass. THE FLASH is a surprisingly touching film about the love between a son and his mother; a poignant theme which is subsumed by the bombast of the perfunctory CGI and obligatory juvenile gags … Read More
ELVIS 2022
Elvis: The Man, The Legend, The Manager? Baz Luhrmann’s ELVIS crams the rise and fall of rock ‘n roll legend Elvis Presley into a questionable biopic – because it’s told from the POV of his manager! Tom Hanks (under obese makeup) plays Colonel Tom Parker, the enigmatic manager who shepherded Elvis into the stratosphere, in an astounding performance only slightly … Read More
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – GHOST PROTOCOL
Casper The Frenzied Ghost. The one with the Burj Khalifa. By this fourth MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE film, all the adventures are jumbled together in our heads; the only way to tell them apart is by each film’s stunts. 1996’s MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE had the fish tank restaurant, the suspension gag and the helicopter-bullet-train climax; II had free-climbing, bike stunts and the knife-to-the-eye … Read More
LOST IN SPACE – SEASON 1-02: THE DERELICT
Sinister Spaceships and Ferocious Furniture. The Space Family Robinson is pulled into a hulking derelict spaceship and attacked by lounge chairs. LOST IN SPACE Season 1 Episode 2 begins exactly where the last episode left off. Professor John Robinson (Guy Williams) is floating away from the Jupiter 2 after his tow-line has broken, as wife Maureen (June Lockhart) watches helplessly, … Read More
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DIO: DREAMERS NEVER DIE
A Dark In The Rainbow. I could have been a dreamer / I could have been the one to fly / I always could have been a dreamer / ‘Cause dreamers never die, no!… — Dio, I Could Have Been A Dreamer (Album: Dream Evil) He saved Ritchie Blackmore, then he saved Black Sabbath, which propelled him into his own … Read More
HOUSE OF GUCCI
Yoko Gucci. Lady Gaga stars as Patrizia Reggiani, one of the world’s greatest gold-diggers (alongside Heather Mills, Anna Nicole Smith and Melania Trump). From a poor Italian family, Patrizia manipulates her way into THE HOUSE OF GUCCI in 1972, marrying Maurizio Gucci (Adam Driver), heir to the Gucci fashion empire. Not content to sit on the sidelines and earn a … Read More
TROLL 2022
Norway’s Godzilla. There was the Norwegian thriller TROLL HUNTER in 2010, an enjoyable modern take on the ancient fairy tale legends. Now Norway blasts out TROLL, an even more grounded, more thrilling, more gargantuan meshing of ancient legend with modern warfare… So… Is Norway cornering the market on troll IP? During an excavation through a mountain in Dovre, Norway, a … Read More
TROLL HUNTER 2010
Trolling Norway. Students making a documentary follow what they think is a bear poacher, only to discover he is a trolljegeren (a TROLL HUNTER), systematically ridding the Norwegian countryside of rogue trolls destroying property, while his governmental gaslighters continue the ruse to news stations that “bears” are responsible for all the havoc. Thomas (Glenn Erland Tosterud) as interviewer leads a … Read More
FATHER OF THE BRIDE
Furthering The Father. To appreciate this movie, we first have to get over the pointy bras. And the soft-focus females, the high heels and pearls worn around the house by the wife, the married couple’s separate single beds, sleeping with all their clothes on, and the fact that everyone 50 looks 80. Oh, also the black slave. 1950 was such … Read More
PALADIN OF THE LOST HOUR | TWILIGHT ZONE | S1E7
Finding time to be greater than itself. A young man rescues a “very old man” from muggers in a cemetery, and is befriended by the old man, whom he discovers is a paladin, a guardian of a timepiece that has stopped ticking, holding in limbo the last hour of the universe. Written by the great Harlan Ellison, and screenplayed by … Read More
THE SUICIDE SQUAD 2021
When Wrongs Make Right. What makes DC’s THE SUICIDE SQUAD of 2021, different from their 2016 movie of the almost same name, SUICIDE SQUAD? Well, many more things than just THE – R-rated, deeper characterization, rapscallion director, premium swearing, delicious gore, and moral ambiguity right up the chocolate starfish. Written and directed by James Gunn, it’s better in many ways … Read More
13 SINS
Sinful Crim-ful. Thirteen challenges. That will either get you killed, jailed, or set for life with a fortune. 13 SINS is, like all movies of its ilk, not about what the man onscreen would do to acquire the Scrooge McDuck swimming pool of riches, but what YOU would do. In this American thriller/black comedy that exudes a British feel, Elliott … Read More
PROJECT POWER 2020
Survival of the Pillest. There’s a new black market pill on the streets of New Orleans. It’s called “power.” Gives you five minutes of a super power. But you don’t know what that power is until you take it. You might get super-strungth, become fast as a cheetah, or become invisible like a camouflaging chameleon. Or it might just blow … Read More
QUEEN: THE SHOW MUST GO ON – THE QUEEN + ADAM LAMBERT STORY
The Fairy Feller’s Master-Stroke. This article draws heavily from my ADAM LAMBERT Tribute. It is combined with that piece for the purpose of a video review for Dunmore’s Movie Mania. Just so you don’t freak out and wonder why I’m plagiarizing myself. THE SHOW MUST GO ON: THE QUEEN + ADAM LAMBERT STORY is a thinly-disguised short biography of the … Read More
THE SPY WHO LOVED ME
Spy Sandwich. James Bond 007 and his female Russian counterpart, Agent XXX, are ordered to join forces to stop a megalomaniac sinking civilization beneath the sea. But is it naïve of M and KGB not to know that when England and Russia end up in bed together – they really end up in bed together? THE SPY WHO LOVED ME … Read More
THUNDERBALL
Thunder-belles and Shirtless Sean! I lost track of how many women James Bond bangs in this movie. Is that why they call it THUNDERBALL? Truly, THUNDERBALL features the best-looking collective female cast of any Bond adventure! And there is not one standout beauty – they’re all stunners! The Blond Nurse, The Sisterly Agent, The Villain’s Naif, and The Redhead Slut. … Read More
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LIVE AND LET DIE
That voodoo that Bond do so well. What does it matter to ya? When you got a job to do, you gotta do it well. You got to give the other fella hell! — “Live And Let Die” – Wings James Bond 007 takes on a heroin kingpin and his voodoo priestess, infuriating the kingpin when he grabs the priestess … Read More
GOLDENEYE
Out with the smug. In with the smugger. The codes of a destructive satellite named GOLDENEYE have been stolen by Russian traitors working with a British traitor, Agent 006, who plans to use Goldeneye’s electromagnetic pulses to cause a global financial meltdown. James Bond must defeat the stronger agent, thwart the runaway satellite, and bang the Russian hotness. new bond: … Read More
STAR WARS: EPISODE IX – THE RISE OF SKYWALKER
Damage Control while Digging a Hole. The older we get, the farther away from STAR WARS we feel. Use the Force and go in young. And you’ll be fine. In the dark, a blue title card on black background: “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…” Then – fanfare! Stirring our deep innocence memory banks. That John … Read More
I AM MOTHER
Big Brother Mother. A young girl is raised by a robot in a biosphere, to believe that the outside world is annihilated, and all that’s left of humans are embryos in this facility. And that robots are her friend. Until a human outsider appears and tells her exactly the opposite. I AM MOTHER is a well-written science fiction thriller that … Read More