Tainted Saints and Sainted Taints. I really wanted to like THE MANY SAINTS OF NEWARK. Hey, it’s a prequel to THE SOPRANOS, the best television show in the history of television. But it’s not quite a prequel and not quite THE SOPRANOS… … Not quite a prequel because the character that was the blood and bone of THE SOPRANOS – … Read More
SUDDENLY 2013
Suddenly Unnecessarily. SUDDENLY is the 2013 remake of the 1954 Frank Sinatra film of the same name. But while the 1954 original is a treatise on guns and war and their effects on society, this 2013 remake is a moronic action movie created specifically to give erections to Republicans. Any wonder – it’s directed by Uwe “Toilet” Boll, the groovy … Read More
KILLING THEM SOFTLY
The Capitalism of Killing. KILLING THEM SOFTLY opens with scarring sound design and disturbing images of debris-strewn streets, and then launches into the poetry of small time hood-speak. (Mobalogue? Gangsternacular?) Writer-director Andrew Dominik (ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES, 2007) approaches an excellence in his writing and direction that is the closest thing to Tarantino without actually lazily copying him, as this … Read More
YOUTH IN REVOLT
A dweeb by any other name… In YOUTH IN REVOLT, ill-defined characters populate a trailer trash landscape, with dialogue trying way too hard to be JUNO. Even Michael Cera is sick of how dweeby he is. He’s willowy Nick Twisp, who invents an alter-ego to be able to find the audacity to break his virginity with the girl of his dreams, … Read More
DATE NIGHT
A night to (kinda) remember. DATE NIGHT is an adequate comedy with exactly three high points, about married couple Phil and Claire (Steve Carell and Tina Fey) in a rut; unrewarding jobs, three kids, no sex. On one of their regular Date Nights, they raunch it up a little by going into the city of Manhattan for dinner; at a … Read More
UNLAWFUL ENTRY
Creepy Eyes stalks Sexy Eyes and Doe Eyes. Even when Ray Liotta plays a good guy, he’s still kinda creepy. In UNLAWFUL ENTRY, Liotta is unbalanced cop, Officer Pete Davis, who terrorizes a break-in victim, Michael Carr (Kurt Russell), for a piece of Michael’s wife, Karen (Madeline Stowe, who is just asking for it by being Madeline Stowe). So he’s … Read More
OBSERVE AND REPORT
Report: C+. OBSERVE AND REPORT doesn’t totally suck. But I can see how people might think it does. If star Seth Rogen‘s career escalates, it might even turn into a cult fave. If writer-director Jody Hill (THE FOOT FIST WAY, 2008) can fine-tune his meandering storytelling style in the future with a bigger hit, it will. This comedy is so … Read More
WILD HOGS
On The Road To Nowhere. There is only one good thing in WILD HOGS: Peter Fonda. And he’s a cameo ten minutes before the end. Naif director Walt Becker helms this listless, laughless tale of four suburban friends pushing middle-age crisis who hit the open road as wannabe bikers to taste “freedom” and come smack up against real bikers and … Read More
SMOKIN’ ACES
It’s a mad mad mad mad assassination. The logic precept Occam’s Razor tells us that “Plurality should not be posited without necessity.” In other words, “Simpler is better.” But SMOKIN’ ACES fell asleep during physics class and won’t go near any logic precepts. A walloping actioner with way too much exposition, there is more unnecessary dialogue here than in the … Read More
IDENTITY
Identity Cleft. More than a murder mystery. More than a psychological thriller. More than a horror movie. IDENTITY is its own special slice of crazy. With most viewers being either misled by this movie’s similarities to Agatha Christie’s TEN LITTLE INDIANS, or just pompously broadcasting their knowledge that IDENTITY was inspired by it, they missed the point this was not … Read More
HANNIBAL
A few nights ago I accidentally watched HANNIBAL on cable. Surfing with the alien, my remote became my god, channeling for high-grade sewage, while I helplessly stood by and made bagels. (Cream cheese, m’dear?) Settling unnervingly on the couch with kippers and chardonnay, I found I had lost my towel. And the movie only made matters worse… Julianne Moore played … Read More