AVATAR: THE WAY OF WATER

Poffy The Cucumber

The Way of Resting On Laurels, Bro. James Cameron’s AVATAR: THE WAY OF WATER, like its predecessor, AVATAR (2009), will leave you agape at the superbly realized world it envelops you in; will leave you stunned at the scintillating imagination running wild on the silver screen, and yet will have you scratching your head at the lazy screenwriting and banal … Read More

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WAR FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES

Poffy The Cucumber

You maniacs! You blew it up!… WAR FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES concludes the modern APES trilogy started in 2011 with RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES. An epic film doing its best to capture the immensity of a protracted battle between two species for the stewardship of a planet, it succeeds on many intellectual and technical levels, … Read More

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JURASSIC WORLD

Poffy The Cucumber

Indominus Wrecks. Raptor wrangler Owen says it perfectly, when Jurassic World supervisor Claire tells him they’ve created a new dinosaur artificially, “Corporate felt genetic modification would up the wow factor.” Owen replies, “They’re dinosaurs – wow enough.” In trying to flex their rex, JURASSIC WORLD jumps the shark. Owen’s summation is the perfect metaphor for this movie. The original Crichton-penned/Spielberg-directed … Read More

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DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES

Poffy The Cucumber

This is the Dawning of the Age of A-Hairy-Ass… How embarrassing! Conquered by people who don’t wear pants. DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES starts exactly where RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES (2011) left off, with a killer virus spreading via a world map, extinguishing the human species except for a few pockets of immunes. 8 years … Read More

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RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES

Poffy The Cucumber

A planet where apes evolved from James Franco? PLANET OF THE APES (1968) was about a man trying to find himself in an Apes’ world; RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES is about an ape trying to find himself in a Man’s world. Dispensing with all the Tim Burton monkey business, RISE is a sober and epic thriller on … Read More

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