SINISTER 2

Poffy The Cucumber

Less Sinister than before… With no stars to speak of, a vanilla leading man and a leaden story, SINISTER 2, the unfocused sequel to 2012’s SINISTER (starring Ethan Hawke) relies on jumpscares and morbid deaths to register any heartbeat at all. The Deputy from SINISTER (mourning-faced James Ransone) is traveling the United States, burning down the houses where the supernatural … Read More

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DOCTOR STRANGE 2016

Poffy The Cucumber

Doctoral Architectural Procedural. If you like architectural special effects, DOCTOR STRANGE is the movie for YOU. Having purchased the building-bending app from INCEPTION, director Scott Derrickson plugs it in and goes on a two-hour coffee break while skyscrapers fold on top of one another, streets turn into Rubik’s cubes, and right angles become three-dimensional Escher-esque imbroglios. Then he emails the … Read More

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SINISTER

Poffy The Cucumber

Ghouls on Film. How ’bout turning on a freakin’ light?! SINISTER is a well-made and effective horror movie, so we expect a certain amount of darkness, metaphorically and literally, but has anyone heard of Thomas Alva Edison around here? Formulated the modern electric light bulb in 1879 – and I’m sure the Department of Water and Power is pumping that … Read More

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THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL 2008

Poffy The Cucumber

The Day Keanu’s Face Muscles Stood Still. Keanu Reeves elevates his One Facial Expression Method to new levels of expressionlessness in this wooden remake of the 1951 film. Though excellent concepts are broached in both THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL films (1951 and 2008 versions), both films are ruined by their gutless denouements, failing to follow through on their … Read More

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