TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION

Poffy The Cucumber

Extinction is just a Michael Bay away. And we thought the last three TRANSFORMERS movies were stupid. Stupidity, meet TRANFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION. Ironically, this movie has helped the franchise achieve its own extinction. While a rogue Decepticon works with the American military to wipe out the last of the Autobots, an inventor reactivates a hibernating Optimus Prime – and … Read More

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UNDERWORLD

Poffy The Cucumber

Overwrought Underworld. Guns, Gore and Grrrrrls in growling leather. UNDERWORLD gives a shot in the arm, so to speak, to the vampire and werewolf iconographies, updating/reimagining both to be in an ongoing millennia-aged war that is escalating, plopping them in modern day Europe (or somewhere with underground rail transport and rain that won’t quit) with automatic weapons and computers. And … Read More

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TRISTAN AND ISOLDE

Poffy The Cucumber

ROMEO AND JULIET meets mincing BRAVEHEART. Don’t look for any historical resonance in this version of TRISTAN AND ISOLDE, reimagined yet again for a modern audience, with a blond babe sporting tresses slapping her backside and James Franco flexing his muscles as much as possible. So no aspect of this Kevin Reynolds-directed romancer should be confused with the actual legend … Read More

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