OCTOPUSSY

Poffy The Cucumber

Eight times the vagina. James Bond was this close to being James Brolin. After five films as Bond, Roger Moore was ready to quit, he himself feeling that his age was becoming an untenable factor in the action-packed life of his playboy spy. After Moore’s previous film, FOR YOUR EYES ONLY, Albert “Cubby” Broccoli’s EON Productions went hunting for another … Read More

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RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II

Poffy The Cucumber

Blood and Thunder or Thud and Blunder? Muscles and bullets and man-sweat. Big hair, big guns and big pecs. Americans rewriting history and Vietnamese so stereotyped it’s more racist than a Republican Tea Party rally. It’s RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II, the improbably named and impossibly bland sequel to the solid FIRST BLOOD. Sylvester Stallone returns as Johnny Rambo, the … Read More

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OUTLAND

Poffy The Cucumber

Outland-ish. It’s HIGH NOON in space. Well, sort of. Well, not exactly. Well, not at all. HIGH NOON (1952) is about the dark side of human frailty. OUTLAND is about some space outlaws too stupid not to shoot their cowboy guns in a pressure dome. Director-writer Peter Hyams: he knows the “how” to make a film, he knows the “where” … Read More

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44 INCH CHEST

Poffy The Cucumber

Chest-beating. ‘Cause I’m a man, I got my pride, Don’t need no woman to hurt me inside. I need love, like any other – So go on and leave me! Leave me for another! — “Good Lovin’ Gone Bad,” Bad Company. I think 44 INCH CHEST is trying to set some kind of record for saying the word “cunt.” That’s … Read More

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