THRONE OF BLOOD

Poffy The Cucumber

Prone to Throne. In THRONE OF BLOOD, Shakespeare’s Macbeth is retold in medieval Japan; conquering armies, witch prophecies, grasping leaders and their conniving wives. Just another day in Washington. Toshiro Mifune, Takashi Shimura, Akira Kurosawa – how can any film be less than maximum overdrive with those three names onboard? (And if you are unfamiliar with those names, I’ll give … Read More

GODZILLA

Poffy The Cucumber

Tampering in Godz domain… Giant monster terrorizes Tokyo. From the depths of hell it came, roaring, spitting fire, destroying civilization; black of heart and devoid of empathy. And it probably had a really small brain too. It was called – The United States of America… People think they know Godzilla. Even you think you know Godzilla. No, you don’t. That … Read More

GODZILLA RAIDS AGAIN

Poffy The Cucumber

Raiding Places. The Sequel Too Scared To Be Called A Sequel. It’s a pity that the most promulgated and available versions of these old movies are those versions doctored by racist pigs and venal corporations. This version of GODZILLA RAIDS AGAIN, the sequel to 1954’s GODZILLA, is the United States edit that was renamed GIGANTIS: THE FIRE MONSTER, with the … Read More

GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS

Poffy The Cucumber

Trying to fix something that ain’t broke – and breaking it. No, it’s NOT just the same movie re-edited. I speak for all cucumber reviewers when I contend – nay, insist – that the 1956 American re-edit of GODZILLA (1954), re-titled GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS, cannot, must not and should NEVER be reviewed with the original, even as a … Read More

GHIDORAH: THE THREE HEADED MONSTER

Poffy The Cucumber

Shooting laser beams at our balls. “The flying saucer people are obviously not going to arrive tonight.” The “Flying Saucer People”? Maybe that’s why. That’s one of the more sensible lines in GHIDORAH: THE THREE-HEADED MONSTER, another dimwitted Godzilla movie that brings together four – count ’em, four! – Japanese monsters to try and make a rip in each other’s … Read More