FOUR BROTHERS

Poffy The Cucumber

Four Muthas. Four adopted brothers – two white, two black – reunite in the hood to hunt down their mother’s killer. And make a racial bonding statement. FOUR BROTHERS stars Mark Wahlberg as Bobby Mercer, one of four “brothers” (unrelated street kids adopted by kindly Fionnula Flanagan when she couldn’t find homes for them), all returning to their Detroit haunt … Read More

SABOTAGE

Poffy The Cucumber

Tools Carrying Tools. Schwarzenegger is Breacher, head of a rogue DEA unit (Drug Enforcement Administration) that steals $10mil from a drug cartel, which is immediately stolen from them by unknown thieves. Whoops! SABOTAGE! Then one by one, his team starts getting murdered mysteriously. This would be a concern for us viewers – if it weren’t for Breacher’s team being the … Read More

MOVIE 43

Poffy The Cucumber

Disgusting Inappropriate Filthy Hilarious Hellspawn Godsend. Specifically designed to make you call your Congressman and complain, MOVIE 43 will offend, distress, embarrass, infuriate, ejaculate, and give you anal warts. Not your average ensemble cast movie where everyone is trying to be more serious than their peers in order to win that Golden Globe, MOVIE 43 takes its A-Listers, jams them … Read More

RAY

Poffy The Cucumber

Tragedy and Triumph on the Cliché Superhighway. A talented superstar like Ray Charles deserves every bit of tribute he receives, so the makers of RAY can be forgiven for their “good intent” (tempered by their desire for profit, of course), but in crafting this ostensible monument to the blind blues-gospel pianist, they step knee deep in every cliché created by … Read More

MR. HOLLAND’S OPUS

Poffy The Cucumber

Mopus Opus. A well-intentioned redemption movie that follows all its formulas sweetly, MR HOLLAND’S OPUS then tries one last tear-jerk that just makes us feel dirty, paying off with a piece of elevator muzak that is so memorable, it will have you humming something else within five minutes of hearing it. Richard Dreyfuss is Mr. Holland, a composer who begrudgingly … Read More

THE BRAVE ONE

Poffy The Cucumber

Sexy Bronson. Yes, they deserve to die – and I hope they burn in hell! – Samuel L. Jackson, A TIME TO KILL. In THE BRAVE ONE, Jodie Foster is Erica Bain, a New York resident with an independent radio talk show, happily engaged to a young doctor (Naveen Andrews, a Londoner, with Indian ethnicity). One night, walking in Central … Read More

IRON MAN

Poffy The Cucumber

Man of Steel, Ethics of Plastic. IRON MAN is a steel-belted planet-crusher of a film; alloy feet on the ground, red-and-gold armor streaking for sub-orbital skies. Based in a reality close to current, like the shrapnel lodged in Tony Stark’s chest, we feel it close to our heart… technology, physics, corporate backbiting, intimate asides… and a self-made hero that speaks … Read More