MUNICH

Poffy The Cucumber

An Ingenious Fantasy by a Fantasy Genius. MUNICH is not about Munich. Nor is it about events which followed the massacre of Israeli athletes. It is about Steven Spielberg’s ego. And how far into Audacious he can drive it without becoming Oliver Stone. This movie’s tagline boasts, “The world was watching in 1972 as 11 Israeli athletes were murdered at … Read More

WHITE NOISE

Poffy The Cucumber

Shite Noise. Not only in peasant homes, but also in city skyscrapers, there lives alongside the twentieth century the thirteenth. A hundred million people use electricity and still believe in the magic powers of signs and exorcisms… Movie stars go to mediums. Aviators who pilot miraculous mechanisms created by man’s genius wear amulets on their sweaters. What inexhaustible reserves they … Read More

DERAILED

Poffy The Cucumber

Hitchcock Lite Meets Noir-ish Dark. Beware of goddesses offering to pay your train fare. A caveat unheeded, when the goddess in question is Jennifer Aniston. I am, after all, only a man. And, like every other full-blooded, able-membered man on earth, whenever I look at Jennifer Aniston, I can only think of One Thing: Brad Pitt. And how I’d like … Read More

FLIGHTPLAN

Poffy The Cucumber

Plight Planning. BOARDING OUR FLIGHT: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen; our FLIGHTPLAN for this journey involves aircraft designer Kyle Pratt (Jodie Foster), whose life in Europe has been jarred to a halt by the accidental death of her husband (she swears he “fell,” not jumped), prompting her to return to the United States with her six-year-old daughter, Julia (a somber … Read More

A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE

Poffy The Cucumber

When the Evil Twin Piques. Director David Cronenberg assails his audience with A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE, surface “pulp thriller,” with an undercurrent of vigilantism, Darwinism and Plot Conveniences. A simplistic tale which careens against the cerebral precepts of Survival of the Fittest, Natural Selection and Freudian sublimation. (Any more big words, or are we done for the day?…) Loosely screenplayed … Read More

APOLLO 13

Poffy The Cucumber

The Greatest Successful Failure of all Time. O, swear not by the moon, the fickle moon, the inconstant moon… — Shakespeare, “Romeo and Juliet.” As I watch Ron Howard‘s APOLLO 13, I smell that familiar kerosene funk in the air: solid rocket boosters firing, RP-1 propellant and liquid hydrogen surging, flux capacitor giga-watting – yes, it’s the Tom Hanks Oscar-Machine … Read More

IDENTITY

Poffy The Cucumber

Identity Cleft. More than a murder mystery. More than a psychological thriller. More than a horror movie. IDENTITY is its own special slice of crazy. With most viewers being either misled by this movie’s similarities to Agatha Christie’s TEN LITTLE INDIANS, or just pompously broadcasting their knowledge IDENTITY was inspired by it, they missed the point this was not a “murder mystery” per … Read More

THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS

Poffy The Cucumber

There Were Giants In Those Days – and Harryhausen was the largest! His name was synonymous with SPECTACLE. View any movie from the 50s or 60s with a gigantic, roaring, pseudo-prehistoric, collateral-damaging monster and you were probably watching one of Ray Harryhausen’s herky-jerky children of fantastic plastic. Just as Ed Wood is The King of B-Movie Schlock, as Alfred Hitchcock … Read More

HANNIBAL

Poffy The Cucumber

A few nights ago I accidentally watched HANNIBAL on cable. Surfing with the alien, my remote became my god, channeling for high-grade sewage, while I helplessly stood by and made bagels. (Cream cheese, m’dear?) Settling unnervingly on the couch with kippers and chardonnay, I found I had lost my towel. And the movie only made matters worse… Julianne Moore played … Read More