Not Tingling. After Tony Stark’s death (in AVENGERS: ENDGAME – c’mon, where you been?), Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) bequeaths Peter Parker/Spider-Man (Tom Holland) the command of all Stark’s tech, via a pair of magic sunglasses. Five minutes later, Parker relinquishes his superhero status to chase after panty (the SUPERMAN II syndrome), and hands over the glasses to interdimensional stranger … Read More
AVENGERS: ENDGAME
Deus ex Marvela. The Elevator Pitch: “Think: BACK TO THE FUTURE meets STAR TREK IV – the Avengers travel back in time, to retrieve these McGuffins in the past that will fix things in the present.” And producer Kevin Feige asked, “Can it be wacky, like in BACK TO THE FUTURE where they’re sneaking around their past selves and suddenly … Read More
AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR
The Mundane Magic of Marvel. Everyone dies. The End. Audience gape in shock as Star-Lord fade to ashes [ooo-spoilers!], gnash their teeth when T’Challa float away on breeze, cry in anguish as Spider-Man say, “Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good…” But all we have to do is glance at imdb to see that sequels to GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, … Read More
SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING
This ain’t your daddy’s underoos… SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING follows the retconned Peter Parker in his quest to become Tony Stark’s bottom bitch. It’s one of the best superhero movies of the modern era, capturing the tone, humor and desires of its hero perfectly. But is nobody going to protest the blatant retroactive continuity on Spider-Man’s suit? I guess not, because experiencing … Read More
CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR
Captain America: Bromance War. Captain America versus Iron Man in a battle to the bromosexual. When The Avengers try to stop a terrorist from killing civilians, and end up killing civilians themselves, the United Nations steps in and calls a halt to their devastating pearbottoms. General Ross (William Hurt, playing a character from Hulk lore, in this movie where the … Read More
THINNER
THINNER is Phat. A gypsy’s curse makes a man become – thinner. Before every woman squeals out looking to have the same gypsy curse applied to her fat ass, take heed: he doesn’t stop getting thinner… “It is the tale, not he who tells it.” A Stephen King credo (from The Breathing Method, a short story in Different Seasons) that … Read More