Angela Cartwright: Star Lite. Penny gets her moment in the sun… or at least, on a planet orbiting a different sun, as she is the focus of this drug-induced episode, where she befriends a disembodied voice in a cave, only to have that voice attack her family via an earthquake through a misunderstanding, and for it to then reconcile with … Read More
LOST IN SPACE – SEASON 1-06: WELCOME STRANGER
The Garbled Gaslighting of Irwin Allen. What the Robinsons thought was a missile heading toward them in the previous episode cliffhanger, turns out to be a spacecraft. It lands, and a regular human man exits. He’s sporting a cowboy hat and a Southern accent. And all the promise that LOST IN SPACE showed in this first Season, as a serious … Read More
LOST IN SPACE – SEASON 1-05: THE HUNGRY SEA
The Plotline That Needn’t Be. I don’t think the writers know how spaceships work: that they insulate the people inside from extremes of cold and heat. Writers Shimon Wincelberg and William Welch want to get the Space Family Robinson into a situation not unlike the Swiss Family Robinson: out on the open sea in a raging tempest… So begins the … Read More
LOST IN SPACE – SEASON 1-04: THERE WERE GIANTS IN THE EARTH
Giant Cyclops, Tiny Science. First of all, that title – There Were Giants In The Earth. This ain’t Earth. And that fact alone should make the Space Family Robinson think twice about any interaction they have with the native fauna or flora… it doesn’t, as they go about eating the flora and killing the fauna, even though the movie year … Read More
LOST IN SPACE – SEASON 1-03: ISLAND IN THE SKY
Bubble-Headed Badboy and Deadly Dr. Smith. Professor John Robinson (Guy Williams) has gone out the airlock of the Jupiter to apparently “fly” down to the planet they are orbiting to scope it out. One would think there are instruments onboard the spaceship that would carry out all that spectroscopy and visual reconnaissance. Nope. The only piece of tech the writers … Read More
LOST IN SPACE – SEASON 1-02: THE DERELICT
Sinister Spaceships and Ferocious Furniture. The Space Family Robinson is pulled into a hulking derelict spaceship and attacked by lounge chairs. LOST IN SPACE Season 1 Episode 2 begins exactly where the last episode left off. Professor John Robinson (Guy Williams) is floating away from the Jupiter 2 after his tow-line has broken, as wife Maureen (June Lockhart) watches helplessly, … Read More
LOST IN SPACE – SEASON 2-26: TRIP THROUGH THE ROBOT
Robot-zilla! Will Robinson and Dr. Smith go into the body of the Robot, grown gigantic, to re-program him down to normal size, and get trapped as the Robot starts to shrink – in the most terrifying LOST IN SPACE episode ever. At least, for ten-year-old boys. By Season 2 (September 1966), LOST IN SPACE was churning out some pretty surreal … Read More
LOST IN SPACE 2018
Handsome, Pretty Handsome. One of the formative TV shows of our youth, LOST IN SPACE, is rebooted as an enjoyable Netflix series, capturing all the dynamics of the original show, and leaving out the camp and the bubble-headed booby. In the year 2046, the space-faring Family Robinson leaves a dying Earth, onboard a mothership of colonists, headed for the star … Read More
LOST IN SPACE – SEASON 1-00: NO PLACE TO HIDE
LOST tries to find its way… It’s LOST IN SPACE without Dr. Smith and the Robot, therefore 20% less fruity fun! “No Place To Hide” is the unaired pilot (Episode 00) of the 1965 TV series LOST IN SPACE, where the Robinson family, on their pioneering quest to Alpha Centauri, is thrown off course and into deep space adventures. The … Read More
LOST IN SPACE – SEASON 1-01: THE RELUCTANT STOWAWAY
Lost in Nostalgia. The Space Family Robinson, on a pioneering flight to Alpha Centauri, is swerved off course by an evil gay doctor and a bubble-headed booby. This first LOST IN SPACE episode (“The Reluctant Stowaway”) is a grim science fiction adventure tale, set in the bleak “future” of 1997, where a silver-suited Professor John Robinson leads his silver-suited family … Read More
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BREAKING BAD SEASON ONE
Another Fine Meth You’ve Gotten Us Into, Yo! BREAKING BAD is about a man who finds his balls. Walter White (Bryan Cranston) is a middle class suburban chemistry teacher with a wife and crippled son, who discovers he has cancer, and stumbles into a situation that allows him to create inordinate wealth to provide for his family before he dies … Read More
TIN MAN 2007
Choking on the Yellow Thick Chode. Honestly, I don’t know how Zooey Deschanel continues to get work. In TIN MAN, a re-visioning of L. Frank Baum’s THE WIZARD OF OZ, Zooey is ersatz Dorothy, named DG (oh, that’s soo street-cred!), lost in the magical world of O.Z. (the Outer Zone – oooh! That’s even more street!), and aided by three … Read More
ARROW
Through an Arrow Greenly. He’s green. He shoots arrows. He’s – The Hood. Uh, I mean, he’s Green Arrow, um, at least, that’s who he’s meant to be – but no one ever calls him that in ARROW… the CW TV series that is too-kewl-fer-skool or sumpin. (What is it with these “grounded” superhero tales? So it’s not legit to … Read More
THE FLASH 2014
The Wimping Of A Superhero. It’s turning into Superhero TV Funhouse over here…There’s ARROW (Green Arrow) and GOTHAM (young Batman), there’s AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D, and various shows where people are endowed with “super” powers; now CW brings us THE FLASH in scintillating crimson backwash. Slogan: “The Making of a Superhero.” But the story itself wimps out the Fastest Man Alive … Read More
GOTHAM
The Batmanless Years. GOTHAM: It’s the city of the Batman. Before the Batman. And that’s the Damoclean ambiguity hanging over the bat-eared head of this television series. We all “know” this city of sin; we all “know” who turns up to clean everyone’s clock; we all “know” this spunk-filled ‘burg is holding its breath for a dark savior – but … Read More
4TH AND LOUD
Football by old Ballers. Love KISS. Could care less about foopball. Hate reality TV. 4TH AND LOUD is a quirky combination of all three. If you like even two out of three, you’re in for a treat with this rollicking, bollicking reality series from AMC, that follows KISS founders Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley as they put together the first … Read More
COSMOS: A SPACETIME ODYSSEY
Starstuff Redux. COSMOS: A SPACETIME ODYSSEY is the 2014 “reboot” to Carl Sagan’s 1980 monument, COSMOS. Producers include Sagan’s widow, Ann Druyan, and FAMILY GUY Seth McFarlane; narrated by astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson. 1. Standing Up In The Cosmos 2. Some Of The Things That Molecules Do 3. When Knowledge Conquered Fear 4. A Sky Full Of Ghosts 5. Hiding … Read More
COSMOS 2014: EPISODE 2
COSMOS continues treading H2O. COSMOS: A SPACE-TIME ODYSSEY is an ambitious venture, treading in the footsteps of gods, attempting to explain Life, the Universe and Everything, while retaining a connectivity between the farthest galaxy, the smallest microbe, and you and I. The opening montage says it all, with its morphing images of a chasm into an eye, a spiral galaxy … Read More
COSMOS 2014: EPISODE 1
COSMOS Lite for the generation of attention-deficit gamesters. They call COSMOS: A SPACE-TIME ODYSSEY a reboot (which is a fad term for movie properties rehashed due to lack of original scripts, brand recognition and merchandising venality). So this update of ever-changing scientific information is most decidedly not a reboot, but a new introduction to the same old information about Life, … Read More
REVIEW
REVIEW in need of review (of its soon-to-be lost financing, soon-to-be fired employees and cancellation policies). I wonder if Andrew Daly realizes he is as funny as a dick rash. Thankfully, his new TV series, REVIEW, is as painfully devoid of humor as he is, and will be gone long before my dick rash. Daly plays a “life reviewer” – … Read More
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