WAR FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES

Poffy The Cucumber

You maniacs! You blew it up!… WAR FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES concludes the modern APES trilogy started in 2011 with RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES. An epic film doing its best to capture the immensity of a protracted battle between two species for the stewardship of a planet, it succeeds on many intellectual and technical levels, … Read More

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TWILIGHT BREAKING DAWN PART 1

Poffy The Cucumber

Breaking Wind, Fart 1. The two-part laborious conclusion to the most trivial love story ever told, TWILIGHT: BREAKING DAWN PART 1, opens with a wedding sequence, exactly like the one in THE GODFATHER, with two small differences: it’s not about New York Crime Families, and it’s not good. Edward the Vampire (Hayden Christensen doppelganger Robert Pattinson) and Bella Swan the … Read More

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FLIGHT 93

Poffy The Cucumber

Flight of Fancy. Note to director Peter Markle: if you’re going to create a tribute to nobodies who become somebodies due to an airline tragedy, if you’re going to grease the wheels of racism and jingoism with agitprop, if you’re hoping to effectively manipulate and exploit the charged emotions of a nation’s populace – don’t use a toy plane for … Read More

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