MOVIE 43

Poffy The Cucumber

Disgusting Inappropriate Filthy Hilarious Hellspawn Godsend. Specifically designed to make you call your Congressman and complain, MOVIE 43 will offend, distress, embarrass, infuriate, ejaculate, and give you anal warts. Not your average ensemble cast movie where everyone is trying to be more serious than their peers in order to win that Golden Globe, MOVIE 43 takes its A-Listers, jams them … Read More

KILL BILL VOLUME 2

Poffy The Cucumber

Bridal Power. Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned / Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned. — William Congreve, “The Mourning Bride” (1697). The second installment of Quentin Tarantino’s KILL BILL masterpiece blasts in with “Chapter Six”– Yes, a movie starting at Chapter Six is audacious enough, but this chapter itself is a flashback to the … Read More

KILL BILL VOLUME 1

Poffy The Cucumber

Revenge is a Bumblebee. Revenge is a dish best served cold. — opening text, KILL BILL, VOL. 1 Something about Uma Thurman in her yellow and black top-to-toe leather, lopping limbs and severing arteries – how hot is that?! Quentin Tarantino writes and directs KILL BILL VOLUME 1, an epic masterpiece of simple brutal story, brutally vicious direction, viciously creative … Read More

MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND

Poffy The Cucumber

High Maintenance Heroine. Luke Wilson sells this film. MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND has Ivan Reitman (GHOSTBUSTERS) directing, a solid comedy writer from THE SIMPSONS, Don Payne, Rainn Wilson at the top of his game and Eddie Izzard at the middle (though still attaining the standard of low-bar American comedians); it also has Uma Thurman looking hot – as a super heroine AND … Read More

THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS AND DOGS

Poffy The Cucumber

No Truth in CATS AND DOGS. Re-telling of the age-old Cyrano tale with Janeane Garofalo as The Nose and Uma Thurman as The Bod. Janeane is as alluring as she’s ever been onscreen – which is about as alluring as Gerard Depardieu in a unitard. (However – funnily enough – I really was attracted to Janeane at the time of … Read More

BATMAN AND ROBIN

Poffy The Cucumber

The Battiest of them all. Why does George Clooney waggle his head like that when he talks?… And how did he infiltrate Wayne Manor’s impenetrable security system – Alfred Pennyworth (Michael Gough) – to become the next Batman? I suppose Alfred – in seeing no less than three Batmen pass through his hallowed halls (Keaton, Kilmer, Clooney), simply puts it … Read More