DEATH WISH 4: THE CRACKDOWN

Poffy The Cucumber

From duds to merely dull. DEATH WISH 4: THE CRACKDOWN surprises us by actually getting close to a plot! After two sequels written by babies and directed like tweens measuring their dicks, this third sequel to DEATH WISH (1974) has actual pacing, quarter-decent acting and a halfway compelling plot that includes a couple of good twists. It helps that it’s … Read More

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DEATH WISH 3

Poffy The Cucumber

The Ambiguously Gay Gangland Mardi Gras Killings. The funniest thing about DEATH WISH 3 is not its sincere attempt at storyline, nor its childish attempts at action-movie dynamism – it’s the street thugs who look like extras from a Pat Benatar video. Director Michael Winner (after his slamming take on vigilantism in the original DEATH WISH, 1974), seems to have … Read More

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THE BOONDOCK SAINTS

Poffy The Cucumber

In nomine Peckinpah, et spiritus Tarantino. In the name of the father – Peckinpah – and in the spirit of Tarantino. THE BOONDOCK SAINTS is like Sam and Quentin had a baby that hasn’t learned to walk yet. It’s a cult classic because it’s powerful and visceral: two Irish Boston prettyboys go vigilante vocation on the Russian mob, all broguey … Read More

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THE BRAVE ONE

Poffy The Cucumber

Sexy Bronson. Yes, they deserve to die – and I hope they burn in hell! – Samuel L. Jackson, A TIME TO KILL. In THE BRAVE ONE, Jodie Foster is Erica Bain, a New York resident with an independent radio talk show, happily engaged to a young doctor (Naveen Andrews, a Londoner, with Indian ethnicity). One night, walking in Central … Read More

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