A DANGEROUS METHOD

Poffy The Cucumber

A Lecherous Method. Ah yes, the hunt for puss. Isn’t that why we’re all here? To hunt or be hunted? Director David Cronenberg turns what could be a grand journey into the minds of two extraordinary psychoanalysts (Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud) into angling at puss. Ironically, that’s what the grand journey of these two minds arrived at – that … Read More

EASTERN PROMISES

Poffy The Cucumber

Broken Promises. Child prostitution rings! Russian mob wars! Blond American chick in mortal danger from Euro assassins! Heaven forfend! Not to worry – David Cronenberg’s EASTERN PROMISES has none of these. Oh, it promises all that and more in the breathless trailers, but when we examine Steven Knight’s screenplay, we realize something director Cronenberg does not – EASTERN PROMISES makes … Read More

OCEAN’S THIRTEEN

Poffy The Cucumber

Lucky Number Thirteen. Like a rehabilitated version of its two retarded brothers, OCEAN’S THIRTEEN is still eye-candy (primary colors and insatiable set dressing screams at us within the opening five minutes), it is still big band bop underscoring a lavish, hedonist production, it is still man-toys squirming their taut butts through unutterably outlandish scenarios – but this time ‘round, the … Read More

DERAILED

Poffy The Cucumber

Hitchcock Lite Meets Noir-ish Dark. Beware of goddesses offering to pay your train fare. A caveat unheeded, when the goddess in question is Jennifer Aniston. I am, after all, only a man. And, like every other full-blooded, able-membered man on earth, whenever I look at Jennifer Aniston, I can only think of One Thing: Brad Pitt. And how I’d like … Read More

OCEAN’S TWELVE

Poffy The Cucumber

“1 Louder” Than Ocean’s Eleven. Sesame Street is having an aneurysm over this movie’s slogan: “Twelve is the new Eleven.” Having nailed the formula down pat with OCEAN’S ELEVEN – ridiculously implausible action and pulp coincidences, snide and smarmy rock soundtrack (evoking a Guy Ritchie élan), smash-cuts and wobbling steadicams, overlapping, smartass dialogue, and A-List megastars glutting all 70 millimeters … Read More