ALIEN 3

Poffy The Cucumber

One Singular Serration… One maximum security prison planet. One xenomorph extra-terrestrial alien. Let the screaming begin. That no one can hear you doing in space… And well I should bastardize the original slogan for the original ALIEN (1979). After the shotgun-sequel ass-klownery of James Cameron’s ALIENS (1986), with hundreds of hissing, cavorting aliens cluttering the frame, the filmmakers of ALIEN … Read More

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BULLET TO THE HEAD

Poffy The Cucumber

Bullets On The Brain. BULLET TO THE HEAD is Sylvester Stallone in Gritty Tragic Mode, an old-school hitman named Jimmy Bonomo, whose partner is killed by a mercenary after what should have been a regulation whacking. On the other side of the tracks, a cop’s partner is killed by the same merc in what should also have been a regulation … Read More

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STREETS OF FIRE

Poffy The Cucumber

Rock and Roll Fable Disable. Everything you know is fake. Everything you believe is wrong. STREETS OF FIRE taught me this. In one crushing swoop, everything I believed about the movie’s finale song, Dan Hartman’s I Can Dream About You, was shattered. Allow me to digress… The movie itself is an unsuccessful stab at cult musical-actioner, with comicbook visuals set … Read More

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THE DRIVER

Poffy The Cucumber

Emotionless Motion. Taking McQueen’s BULLITT (1968) car-chase scene to its extremities, here is a movie ALL ABOUT the car chases. With a funny little plot thrown in for good measure. Originally written for McQueen, Ryan O’Neal (known simply as The Driver, a professional getaway car driver) does a bangup job of emotionless motion – yet imagining McQueen in the role … Read More

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ALIENS

Poffy The Cucumber

The Warrior/Goddess Dichotomy and the Eternal Feminine. ALIENS! Leaping, screeching, hissing, grabbing – hellish armies of H.R. Giger’s inscrutable extra-terrestrial life forms, swarming killing machines going elongated-head to jar-head with the United States Marines (Roger Ramjet Space Division, Glib Company). Writer-Director James Cameron helms this sequel to one of the landmark space/horror films of our time, ALIEN (1979). And it … Read More

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