AIR FORCE ONE

Poffy The Cucumber

Air Force Dumb. Russians hijack the American President’s plane, AIR FORCE ONE! Oh my! Whatever is going to happen now? Can I have a serving of foregone conclusion with my helping of blockbuster actioner? Two great actors. One dumbass movie. Harrison Ford is American President James Marshall (because the name President Privileged Whiteman was taken), and Gary Oldman is Russian … Read More

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THE SANTA CLAUSE 2

Poffy The Cucumber

Papa’s got a brand new bag – I mean, wife. Due to THE SANTA CLAUSE 2, Santa Claus must find a wife or he will magically stop being Santa Claus, presumably leaving one billion spoiled brats on Earth wailing in frenzy for their free toys. It’s eight years later – in real time and movie time – since THE SANTA … Read More

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THE SANTA CLAUSE

Poffy The Cucumber

Insanity Clause. Santa Claus has his own kind of occult life insurance. If he dies, the person who puts on his suit becomes him (against their will), replete with obesity genes, forceful beard that cannot be shaved off and occult powers of transmogrification; Santa Claus’s life essence preserved and transferred, the person who becomes him having no choice but to … Read More

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