STAR TREK: GENERATIONS

Poffy The Cucumber

Generation Pap. The Death of Kirk! You know these filmmakers are going to hell for this, right? STAR TREK: GENERATIONS was meant to showcase the TREK TV spinoff, THE NEXT GENERATION; instead, the singular event on all our minds is how Kirk is going to eat it. The Original Series fans would dread the moment, yet obsessively study it with … Read More

STAR TREK V: THE FINAL FRONTIER

Poffy The Cucumber

The Final Affront Here. Shatner directs! Oh, what a marvelous disaster! From Shatner’s book, Star Trek Movie Memories, we read about Shatner’s grandiloquent vision for the greatest TREK adventure of all – the search for God Itself! The Final Frontier! We learn of the hordes of barbarians at the gate, of the ten Rock Men finale; of the sweeping alien … Read More

STAR TREK III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK

Poffy The Cucumber

The Search for Plot. The rumors of his death have been greatly exaggerated. It was a fantastic climax, bringing tears to the eyes of Terrans and Vulcans alike, as Spock bad his final farewell through perspex, busting his Live Long and Prosper sign while face to face with his lifelong friend whom he could not touch, radiation eating at his … Read More

STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE

Poffy The Cucumber

Attack of The Motionless Picture. I read Kirk’s book. Laden with anecdotes from the making of seven STAR TREK movies, William Shatner’s Star Trek Movie Memories (co-author, Chris Kenski), is – alas – light years more entertaining than the movies it describes. Shatner’s candor and dry wit propels Movie Memories like the warp drive on his vaunted Enterprise chariot. Alas, … Read More

STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN

Poffy The Cucumber

Yes We Khaaaaan! Can we find anyone in the galaxy who can chew more cheese onscreen than James Tiberius Kirk? Yes We Khan! In STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN, Ricardo Montalban (as Khan Noonien Singh) joins the regular cast of three actors (Shatner, Nimoy, Kelley) and four extras posing as actors (Doohan, Takei, Koenig, Nichols) in the feature … Read More

STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME

Poffy The Cucumber

Camping in a Row of Future Tense. I could say this movie was “a whale of a time” but it wasn’t really. Starting with a promising premise, as the story unfolded, it quickly lost its porpoise. (Somebody slap me.) Continuing where STAR TREK III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK left off (sometime in the 23rd century), in STAR TREK IV: THE … Read More

OVER THE HEDGE

Poffy The Cucumber

Die Hard With A Woodland Critter Vengeance. It is a pity that the quality of the storyline of these modern 3D animation features does not always match the level of talent that goes into their animation. OVER THE HEDGE uses the most modern computer technology to animate the most ancient of storylines: lone racketeer cons group of patsies into doing … Read More