WORLD WAR Z

Poffy The Cucumber

World War ZGI. The first interesting zombie movie ever made in the history of cinema! I hate zombie movies. Tedious, repetitive, unimaginative. Shuffle, grab, shoot, run, shuffle, grab, shoot, run, block doorway with hands grabbing through gap. Repeat. Okay okay, I get it! Discounting well-made black comedies (SHAUN OF THE DEAD, WARM BODIES, ZOMBIELAND), zombie movies that take themselves seriously … Read More

DYLAN DOG: DEAD OF NIGHT

Poffy The Cucumber

Doggy doo. Brandon Routh is soooo Christopher Reeve. He wasn’t this much Christopher Reeve even when he was Superman. You would think that anyone who hired Reeve – I mean, Routh – post-SUPERMAN RETURNS (after which he was unfairly stripped of the cape), would cast him as a character as far from the Man of Steel as possible, but in … Read More

ZOMBIELAND

Poffy The Cucumber

Fun for the whole (undead) family. ZOMBIELAND is no classic comedy like SHAUN OF THE DEAD (which it emulates in small snatches), but it still gives veteran zombie auteur George A. Romero a lesson in how to insert all that “black humor” and “satire” that he never puts into his movies yet that he is famous for. Directed by video … Read More

DAWN OF THE DEAD

Poffy The Cucumber

Die! And don’t come back! They call this movie a classic. They also call director George A. Romero a legend. Lots of things become famous for the wrong reasons. Carrie Prejean is famous and she’s a bubble-headed, big-titted bigot; Jon and Kate are famous and they’re the world’s most despicable parents; Rush Limbaugh is famous and he’s a bubble-headed, big-titted … Read More

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD

Poffy The Cucumber

Night of the Actor’s Studio Rejects. 1968. While Kubrick unveiled 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, while Polanski birthed ROSEMARY’S BABY, while Franklin J. Schaffner unleashed PLANET OF THE APES, George A Romero, a director who couldn’t direct, got together with a bunch of actors who couldn’t act and lumbered out NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. And the world became a stupider … Read More

HOUSE OF THE DEAD

Poffy The Cucumber

Laid up and drugged out, as a kidney stone wended its merry way through my scarred urinary tract, with ab-so-lute-ly nothing better to do than let the painkillers swoon me into semi-oblivion, I happened to catch this movie on cable. I wouldn’t want anyone to think that I paid to view it in a cinema, or rented it, or – … Read More