The Tyranny of Evil Men…
Mechagodzilla is re-forged by aliens, and Titanosaurus is mind-ruled by scientists, sent to kill Godzilla, who is ass-raped by moviemakers.
Opening montage: oh shit! – the American version – we can tell immediately: an American narrator pisses his pants trying to sound cogent during a Boolshit Maximus montage that he is clearly making up as he goes along. Overdosing on stock footage, we see the puppy-dog-poo versions of Godzilla battle monsters pointlessly, in the end, sinking Mechagodzilla.
Narrator tells us: Godzilla beats Mechagodzilla “with some heretofore unknown powers” – narrating the shark-jump in the film’s opening minutes! – as Godz makes himself magnetic and pulls Mecha onto him, to harm him in ways that only a creature with heretofore unknown powers can.
We can only presume that TERROR OF MECHAGODZILLA is a product of studio decree, because no sane person could possibly be responsible for crap this high: Toho Company would have forced Godzilla veteran Ishiro Honda (director of 1954’s original) to play Good Company Boy and Direct Or Die; they would have greenlighted Yukiko Takayama’s script only when it approached nowhere near intelligence; and they would have fought to keep those production dollars down – for the love of Shinto and the good of their own pockets. Then the Americans finished the hatchet job, “translating” not what the actors are saying, but whatever fitted their pseudo-idiot story, and then dubbing United Kingdom accents without any thought to syntax, thereby driving this stinker right into one of their gaping bungholes.
Aliens from Planet X are back! Bwohahahaa! They’ve swapped their disco uniforms for silver LOST IN SPACE duds, and enlisted the aid of bitter Dr. Mafune (Akihiko Hirata in heavy makeup, a Godz veteran, including playing Dr. Serizawa in the 1954 original! A man’s gotta eat, I guess) to help them defeat Earth, because Mafune mind-controls a Titanosaurus, which they can use alongside their resurrected Mechagodzilla.
Mafune can’t quite mind-control his strong-willed daughter (Tomoko Ai), who falls in love with another Godz veteran, Katsuhiko Sasaki (the inventor in GODZILLA VS. MEGALON).
Music by Akira Ifukube (composer on 1954’s original), his odd-time Godz theme seeming completely incongruous in the context of this curry festival.
Again, it’s not the guys in the suits that are the problem – we will gladly suspend our disbelief and willingly embrace the campy fun, if the filmmakers would just display consistency within their own film universe. Instead, so little thought is given to plot and acting, with such painful English dubbing, that all we take away in the end are guys in rubber suits fighting in a movie that makes no sense.
Let’s CAMP here for the night.
Example? Let’s not even mention the scene where Titanosaurus (is it any surprise that the filmmakers were unaware there is really a dinosaur of this name?) grips Godzilla’s mouth and lifts him up parallel to the ground – that’s just laugh-out-loud gravy. Let’s not even mention the prisoner who escapes and is shot in a slomo death – a nonsense scene only created so that the prisoner can hand a McGuffin to a plumber – a plumber working nonchalantly in this top secret alien-guarded area. However, let’s do mention: Mecha uses his finger-missiles to dispatch Godzilla. Just one missile is enough to send Godz over into a shallow grave. Oouwaah! Five minutes later, Godzilla, who we surmise needed the rest, smashes out of the grave – dare you doubt? Now Mecha throws everything he’s got at Godz – finger-missiles, chest ray, eye ray – nothing works. Why? How? Does anyone care?
The aliens, who guffaw after every statement, congratulate themselves on Mecha: “He is the perfect robot monster! Bwohahahaa!” Why you calling it a “monster” you dingleberries? It’s a ROBOT!
The girl love interest kills herself in the arms of her lover, in the lab. Next we see: Lover is carrying dead Girl in his arms at the top of a cliff, watching the monster fight. Sun at his back. So cinematic! Hey buddy, did you just carry this girl to the top of a cliff instead of getting paramedics to retrieve her body from the lab where she died? What’s the matter with you?!
Now, I’m tryin’, Ringo. I’m tryin’ real hard to find the themes or moral layers or subtle messages, but that ain’t the truth. The truth is, Ringo: I’m the righteous man, and Toho – is the tyranny that creates evil men…
END
TERROR OF MECHAGODZILLA (Mar 1975) | Gaka: MEKAGOJIRA NO GYAKUSHU.
aka: MECHAGODZILLA VS. GODZILLA.
Director: Ishiro Honda.
Writer: Yukiko Takayama.
Music: Akira Ifukube.
Starring: Katsuhiko Sasaki, Tomoko Ai, Akihiko Hirata, Katsumasa Uchida, Gorô Mutsumi, Tadao Nakamaru.
GODZILLA: Toru Kawai. MECHAGODZILLA: Ise Mori. TITANOSAURUS: Katsumi Nimiamoto.
Version: American edit, English dubbing.
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Dunmore’s “Review” of Terror of Mechagodzilla: A Masterclass in Petty, Mean-Spirited Mockery with Zero Substance
Let’s just get this out of the way: Jon Dunmore’s review of Terror of Mechagodzilla isn’t a critique, it’s a tantrum dressed up as a “review.” From the moment you start reading, you’re hit with an unrelenting barrage of insults, hyperbole, and lazy mockery—none of which actually engage with the film in any meaningful way. It’s clear that Dunmore didn’t approach this with the intention of offering a thoughtful analysis of the film or even trying to understand what the filmmakers were going for. No, he’s here to tear it apart with all the grace of a toddler throwing a fit in a toy store.
1. Overblown, Unfunny Vitriol:
Dunmore’s use of hyperbole is more like a desperate cry for attention than a legitimate criticism. Phrases like “Godzilla is ass-raped by moviemakers” and “an American narrator pisses his pants trying to sound cogent” are the kind of over-the-top, almost comically juvenile insults that belong in an angry fanboy’s YouTube rant, not a proper review. Instead of presenting a coherent argument or offering insight, he resorts to shock-value language, as if the sheer volume of expletives somehow makes his opinion more valid. Newsflash: it doesn’t.
The irony here is that Dunmore seems so desperate to prove how much smarter and more “serious” he is than the filmmakers, but he ends up looking like the one who’s emotionally unhinged and incapable of engaging in mature critique. It’s like someone reading an elementary school essay on why “Godzilla movies are dumb,” except the writer’s throwing in cuss words to sound edgy.
2. Shallow, Lazy Critique:
If you’re looking for any depth in this review, keep looking. Dunmore’s “analysis” is nothing more than surface-level complaints about the film’s plot holes, which anyone watching the movie can spot within the first 10 minutes. Yes, the aliens having control over Godzilla, Rodan, and Mechagodzilla from the get-go is a plot hole. Yes, the story is riddled with contradictions. But guess what? Terror of Mechagodzilla isn’t a high-brow drama; it’s a kaiju movie. If you expect airtight logic or deep character development in a film where rubber monsters fight each other and punch each other in the face, then maybe you’ve missed the point of Godzilla altogether.
Dunmore’s entire critique reads like someone so desperate to tear down the film that he can’t see it for what it is—a goofy, fun, escapist monster movie with a loose plot designed around spectacle. The film’s flaws don’t destroy its appeal if you’re able to meet it on its own terms. Dunmore, however, seems to have checked all his ability to appreciate campy fun at the door, choosing instead to latch onto every mistake as if it’s the worst thing in the world.
3. Nothing But Mean-Spirited Mockery:
It’s not just that Dunmore criticizes the movie; he relishes in it. He seems to find pleasure in mocking the actors, the writing, the direction, and even the poor dubbing. Yes, the English dub is famously awful—so what? If you’re watching a Godzilla movie and expect a flawless translation or Academy Award-level acting, you might want to reconsider your life choices. The dubbing is part of the charm for many fans, and it’s honestly baffling that Dunmore doesn’t seem to get that. Instead, he uses it as another excuse to scream “this is terrible!” with no understanding of the cultural or cinematic context.
The worst part is his utter dismissal of the film’s attempts at thematic depth. Terror of Mechagodzilla may not be the most profound film ever made, but it does touch on themes like the dangers of unchecked scientific experimentation and the potential for technological advancement to be used for destruction. Dunmore doesn’t even attempt to explore these ideas, because, apparently, they’re not important enough to engage with when you’re too busy calling the movie a “dungcastle.” There’s no analysis, no attempt to get beneath the surface—just endless sneering at the things he finds “dumb.”
4. Complete Failure to Understand the Genre:
The crux of Dunmore’s failure as a critic is his inability to appreciate or understand the genre he’s reviewing. Yes, Terror of Mechagodzilla is a silly, campy kaiju film. But that doesn’t mean it’s inherently “bad” or lacking value. The Godzilla series has always been a blend of absurdity, fun, and occasionally social commentary. Dunmore, however, seems to be holding this movie up to standards it was never designed to meet. He’s looking for a serious sci-fi film, and when he doesn’t find one, he throws a fit and labels everything “dogvomit.”
Sure, the film has plot holes. Sure, the logic sometimes doesn’t make sense. But Terror of Mechagodzilla is a monster movie. It’s about giant creatures battling it out, not about perfect storytelling. To criticize the film solely for its incoherencies without acknowledging the fun, fantastical nature of the genre is to miss the entire point.
Dunmore also criticizes the character motivations, but let’s be real—no one watches Godzilla for complex characters. It’s about the spectacle, the fights, and the imaginative creatures. The fact that he’s so hung up on these trivial details, without any understanding of what makes the genre work, just underscores how out of touch he is.
5. A Complete Lack of Insight:
Ultimately, Dunmore’s review offers nothing of value. There’s no insight, no exploration of what makes Terror of Mechagodzilla both a product of its time and a fun piece of Godzilla lore. The review doesn’t even attempt to consider how Terror of Mechagodzilla fits into the broader Godzilla franchise. There’s no attempt to explore the film’s historical context—no understanding of how the series evolved from its roots in post-nuclear horror to the campy, colorful monster battles of the 1970s. Instead, Dunmore simply throws up his hands, declares everything “stupid,” and goes off on a tirade. That’s not criticism; that’s venting.
6. An Elitist, Disrespectful Tone:
Dunmore’s tone is condescending and dismissive—not just of the film, but of the people who enjoy it. His review reeks of the attitude that anyone who likes this movie is either a fool or an ignoramus. He’s quick to dismiss fans who might find enjoyment in the film’s campy appeal, implying they’re too stupid to see the glaring flaws that he alone has uncovered. This elitism is tiresome, and it’s part of what makes his review so grating. Instead of inviting readers to engage with the material, Dunmore separates himself from the audience, elevating his opinions as some kind of unassailable truth.
7. Missed Opportunity for Meaningful Critique:
Had Dunmore taken a more thoughtful approach, he could have explored the Godzilla franchise’s cultural significance or the film’s legacy within the genre. There’s a rich history behind these movies, and Terror of Mechagodzilla exists as a reflection of the changing tides in Japanese cinema. But Dunmore can’t be bothered to engage with any of that. Instead, he reduces it all to “stupid people in rubber suits.”
Conclusion: Jon Dunmore’s review of Terror of Mechagodzilla is nothing more than a petulant rant wrapped in the guise of a critique. It’s filled with mindless insults, exaggerated mockery, and a complete lack of any substantive analysis. Rather than discussing what the film is—a fun, campy, and flawed entry in the Godzilla series—Dunmore spends the entire review shredding it for not being something it was never trying to be in the first place. He completely misses the point of the movie and of the franchise itself.
Instead of offering meaningful insight, Dunmore’s review is a sad exercise in smug superiority. It’s the film criticism equivalent of a person who loudly declares something is “stupid” and expects everyone to agree with them without question. Unfortunately for Dunmore, that kind of criticism is as hollow and tiresome as the movie he’s attacking.“
“Now, I’m tryin’, Ringo. I’m tryin’ real hard to find the themes or moral layers or subtle messages, but that ain’t the truth. The truth is, Ringo: I’m the righteous man, and Toho – is the tyranny that creates evil men…”
Ah, yes, I see you’ve dropped in a Pulp Fiction reference, Jon. How very meta of you. So, let me guess: you’re the “righteous man,” and Toho—the beloved studio that created the Godzilla franchise—is the “tyranny that creates evil men.” The thematic depth in that statement is overwhelming. Truly, you’ve tapped into the core of film criticism, much like you tapped into the emotional underpinnings of Gojira (1954)—only this time, your intellect is drawing from Tarantino, not Toho.
Let’s break it down, shall we? You’re “trying real hard” to find the themes of a Godzilla film, but in the end, all you find is a grand, cosmic battle between your self-appointed righteousness and the evil tyranny of Toho’s filmmaking. Well, it’s nice to know where you stand, Jon. Of course, this doesn’t actually engage with any of the themes Toho has put into their films over the years—like the dangers of unchecked technological advancement, the legacy of nuclear destruction, or the philosophical exploration of humanity’s relationship with nature. No, no. It’s far more compelling to declare yourself “the righteous man” and everyone else the “evil men.” Because that’s how good criticism works, right? If you can’t make a point with evidence, just pull out a big, dramatic metaphor, and hope no one notices you’re basically just indulging in a personal vendetta against Toho’s entire legacy.
Now, that quote of yours about being “the righteous man” comes right on the heels of the Godzilla “analysis” we’ve already looked at. The fact that you’re trying to draw some deep philosophical conclusion from the studio’s entire history is just chef’s kiss in terms of pretentiousness. It’s like watching someone try to justify their tantrum by quoting a popular film and pretending it’s some profound reflection on Godzilla—except it just makes you seem a little lost and bitter.
And what can we learn from this, Jon? Perhaps it’s this:
It’s proof that pretending to understand something deeply doesn’t actually make you insightful. You’ve given us a few big words, a Pulp Fiction reference, and some “righteous man” bluster, but in the end, it just seems like a weak attempt to give your rant more depth. Not everything has to be about you, Jon. Sometimes, it’s okay to just engage with the material instead of projecting your own “righteousness” onto it.
It’s proof that when in doubt, make a grand statement. It’s hard to engage meaningfully with Godzilla or Toho, so why not dress it up as a battle between good and evil? You’ve created a neat little world where you’re the hero, and everyone who disagrees with you is just a misguided soul, forever trapped in the “evil” tyranny of Toho. But guess what? It’s not that simple, Jon. Film isn’t just about you being right, and everyone else being wrong.
It’s proof that when you don’t understand the themes, it’s easier to just dismiss them outright. Instead of actually unpacking the layers of history, culture, and metaphor behind Godzilla, you’re just throwing your hands up and saying, “I’m the righteous man, and everything else is tyranny.” Which is a great way to not engage with anything.
So, Jon, I guess you’ve shown us something: how not to critique a film. When in doubt, be loud, be dramatic, and, above all, be convinced you’re right—because that’s really all that matters in your world, isn’t it?
Final Thoughts
In case we didn’t get the message from all the Pulp Fiction references and “righteous man” proclamations, Jon Dunmore’s criticism of Godzilla can be summed up in one simple truth: you’re not a critic, Jon—you’re just a guy who’s really good at talking down to people. And somehow, you’ve convinced a few folks that loud, condescending mockery is insightful film analysis. But the real Godzilla? It’s not the one stomping through cities or smashing monsters—it’s you, stomping over the history of this franchise and dismissing everything that doesn’t align with your very narrow, very arrogant worldview.
So, let’s all take a moment to thank you for your valiant efforts in reminding us that a lack of nuance, historical understanding, or respect for the source material can still earn you a loud, self-affirming audience.
And maybe, just maybe, we’ll learn something from your reviews after all: never trust someone who thinks they’re the “righteous man” in a world of evil movies, just because they haven’t bothered to look any deeper than their own ego.
Warm regards,
A “small-minded” admirer of Godzilla who can’t help but laugh at your absurdity.
WHERE WE LEARN THAT DUNMORE WAS ASS-RAPING THE MOVIEMAKERS TO SATISFY HIS EGOSTICAL NATURE
“ Aliens from Planet X are back-“ (Record scratch)
(Intern) Wait I thought they were from the third planet from the black hole- (Dunmore) -ehhh, it doesn’t matter as long as I can insult all people on this Earth. Anyone who gives a fuck about accuracy should fuck themselves.
“ Again, it’s not the guys in the suits that are the problem – we will gladly suspend our disbelief and willingly embrace the campy fun, if the filmmakers would just display consistency within their own film universe. Instead, so little thought is given to plot and acting, with such painful English dubbing, that all we take away in the end are guys in rubber suits fighting in a movie that makes no sense.”
None of the moviegoers give a fuck about your opinion.
“ The aliens, who guffaw after every statement, congratulate themselves on Mecha: “He is the perfect robot monster! Bwohahahaa!” Why you calling it a “monster” you dingleberries? It’s a ROBOT!”
Blame the dubbing.
“ Hey buddy, did you just carry this girl to the top of a cliff instead of getting paramedics to retrieve her body from the lab where she died? What’s the matter with you?!”
He didn’t want the cyborg’s innards to be used for nefarious purposes?
“ Now, I’m tryin’, Ringo. I’m tryin’ real hard to find the themes or moral layers or subtle messages, but that ain’t the truth. The truth is, Ringo: I’m the righteous man, and Toho – is the tyranny that creates evil men…”
This is why I want you to kill yourself.