TOY STORY

Poffy The Cucumber

Plastic Fantastic. Y’know, I always suspected my toys were coming to life when I wasn’t looking! In TOY STORY, young Andy’s toys lead lives of noisy desperation come every birthday and Christmas – no one wants to be one-upped by a new addition to the toy box. Led by Cowboy Woody (there’s a BROKEBACK joke just waiting to happen), Mr. … Read More

CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN 2003

Poffy The Cucumber

Children Of The Damned. When Ashton Kutcher is the funniest thing in your movie, it’s time to re-assess everything you hold dear. CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN is an unworthy, implausible remake of a 1950 film of the same name, with parents Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt unconvincingly helming a hornet’s nest of selfish, ill-mannered, impertinent teen and sub-teen models in … Read More

GARFIELD

Poffy The Cucumber

Flat Cat. Although Bill Murray (who voices Garfield) is truly a real-life simulacrum of the smug, under-enthused comic-strip cat, his intrinsically entertaining “character” was – dare I say it? – Lost In Translation (shout, but don’t hit) somewhere between the vapidity of the script and the orange computer blips representing the eponymous feline in GARFIELD. Garfield’s master, Jon (Blandness, thy … Read More