THE NEXT KARATE KID

Poffy The Cucumber

A Karate Kid for Girls. Oh, but definitely for Mens. Miyagi helps a troubled teen by teaching her karate – she’s got two humungous assets that Daniel-san could never have: a pet hawk, and acting talent. Oh, and for all you Men of Culture – she’s got those too. Mr. Miyagi (Noriyuki “Pat” Morita) travels to Boston for the funeral … Read More

Spread the love

THE KARATE KID PART III

Poffy The Cucumber

A Spock Chop to the Stupid Nerve. THE KARATE KID PART III finds Daniel LaRusso conned into competing in a karate tournament, with a savage opponent who is no match for Daniel’s stunning mediocrity. Daniel-san (Ralph Macchio) and Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita) return to LA from Japan, and proceed with their boring life in Reseda, Miyagi convincing Daniel not to … Read More

Spread the love

THE KARATE KID PART II

Poffy The Cucumber

When Acting Happen, No Be There… The doofus and his master travel to Japan, where they will encounter another karate master who wants them dead, another karate student who wants to maim Doofus, and another girl who falls for the willowy Doofus even through his atrocious acting, in the continuing adventures of THE KARATE KID PART II. Back in the … Read More

Spread the love

COBRA KAI SEASON FOUR

Poffy The Cucumber

The UnMotivation of Terry Silver. Well, we got the exceptional Season One (The Rebirth of Johnny Lawrence,) the very good Season Two (The Re-emergence of John Kreese), the fan-service Season Three (the Reboot of Kumiko and Chozen and Ali with an I) and now COBRA KAI SEASON FOUR, that re-tools the psychopathic tool from KARATE KID PART III. Yes, it’s … Read More

Spread the love

COBRA KAI SEASON ONE

Poffy The Cucumber

Beating us Beautifully with Moral Ambiguity. Well, what a surprise COBRA KAI is! One of the best series reboots of a campy 80s movie franchise, proving old rivalries never die, they just get and sexier and dorkier. The original 1984 KARATE KID was just ROCKY with an Italian Ferret (both movies directed by John G. Avildsen). In that movie, Daniel … Read More

Spread the love

THE KARATE KID

Poffy The Cucumber

Wax On, Whacks Off. A bean stem moves to a new school in Los Angeles and proceeds to take regular beatings from the school bullies for sniffing around the head bully’s ex-girl. He takes karate lessons from that guy from HAPPY DAYS – karate not for philosophy or exercise or discipline but to beat up the bullies. Two wrongs make … Read More

Spread the love

THE FOOT FIST WAY

Poffy The Cucumber

The Foot Mouth In. FOOT FIST WAY is the literal English translation of Tae Kwon Do. And the ancient Tibetan translation is Not Quite Comedy. Produced by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, Danny McBride‘s THE FOOT FIST WAY is an uneven bid at indie cult, as it explores themes of narcissism and self-esteem, filled with non-sequitur characters, bad actors, and … Read More

Spread the love