CARRIE

Poffy The Cucumber

Unholiest, Bloodiest, Blondest. CARRIE starts with blood. And ends with blood. Startling gouts of life-giving/death-dealing blood. And in between – menstruation, high school, and religious dementia. A true horror movie. Director Brian De Palma brings Stephen King’s 1974 debut novel Carrie to the big screen in blood and strawberry blonde: Sissy Spacek as Carrie White, perfectly embodying the awkward teen … Read More

JFK

Poffy The Cucumber

Conspiracy Clearly. To sin by silence when we should protest, makes cowards out of men. –Ella Wheeler Wilcox. When it comes to 9-11, or John F. Kennedy, or Jesus Christ, no one cares what you think. They know what they know. And no one’s gonna tell ’em otherwise. Oliver Stone doesn’t care what you think. He directs JFK with the … Read More

FOUR CHRISTMASES

Poffy The Cucumber

Four times the noxious. FOUR CHRISTMASES would be nothing without Jon Favreau dry-humping Vince Vaughn‘s twisted arm. Best part of the movie. I laughed out loud. Then the movie kept going. Unfortunately. In this uneven comedy, Brad (Vaughn) and Kate (Reese Witherspoon) are a boisterous, adventurous young couple who studiously avoid visiting their dysfunctional families every christmas, opting to take … Read More

HOT ROD

Poffy The Cucumber

Snot Rod. Here’s one you can watch with a straight face, with a script so bad, even Will Ferrell wouldn’t be in it. There are two laughs in HOT ROD. 1. The Punch-Dance. Stunt rider Rod “needs to go to his quiet place” and before anyone can say Kevin Bacon, he is footloosing a passionate, overwrought bodyswerve to the strains … Read More