GODS OF EGYPT

Poffy The Cucumber

Who knew Ancient Egypt had so many special effects? Plot Flaw Alert Which No One Seems To Notice: In the visual gluttony called GODS OF EGYPT, evil god Set defeats virtuous god Horus by plucking out the source of Horus’s power – his eyes. Now Horus must go on a quest to retrieve his eyes, so that he can regain … Read More

Spread the love
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

I, FRANKENSTEIN

Poffy The Cucumber

Frankenstein’s Glamster. I, FRANKENSTEIN finds Frankenstein’s Monster in the modern world (which still resembles a big and brash medieval fantasy), immortal, an outsider caught in a war between two immortal clans – the Gargoyles and the Demons – that could damn the fate of humankind… if only humankind gave a toss. Aaron Eckhart, ripped like a bridge cable, is the … Read More

Spread the love
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER

Poffy The Cucumber

Moulage of the Ripe Cheddar. THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER: where characters we care not one whit for embark on a journey we have absolute zero interest in. After two movies, author C.S. Lewis’s epic saga of the magical Narnia universe is going nowhere fabulously fast. And by that I mean, director Michael Apted (THE … Read More

Spread the love
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

ACE VENTURA: WHEN NATURE CALLS

Poffy The Cucumber

When Nature Calls Through Its Arse. You either like Ace Ventura or you want to entrap him in a space capsule bound for the heart of the black hole at the center of the Milky Way. If you are of the latter persuasion, don’t read on. It will only prompt you to spend inordinate amounts of money on the space … Read More

Spread the love
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

AUSTRALIA

Poffy The Cucumber

Epic Saddlebag Superhero. Being a son of Australia, this movie was calling to my blood. I had to watch it, right? I had to know it, feel it, taste it. And report back on whether it hides behind the faux-Aussie Outback Steakhouse jive, or whether it truly captures the wild frontier Dreamtime spirit of Downunda; the vast ochre countryscapes, the … Read More

Spread the love
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •