2 FAST 2 FURIOUS

Poffy The Cucumber

2 Fast 2 Bi-Curious. THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS was so successful that Universal Pictures had to have a sequel, so they did the smart thing and threw out all the characters from the first movie and only kept the prettiest girl for the sequel, Paul Walker. (Actually, all the characters were asked to return, but Vin Diesel turned down … Read More

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TRANSCENDENCE

Poffy The Cucumber

Blandcendence. Johnny versus JARVIS in a battle to the terabyte. Johnny Depp is artificial intelligence scientist Will Caster, who is on the verge of creating the ultimate A.I. computer, when he is gunned down by an anti-tech extremist. Before Will dies, his wife Evelyn (Rebecca Hall) and their scientist best friend Max (Paul Bettany aka Iron Man’s Computer J.A.R.V.I.S.) transfer … Read More

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OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN

Poffy The Cucumber

DIE HARD in the White House. OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN but don’t worry – John McClane is there to– I mean, Gerard Butler is there to pick it back up again. North Korean terrorists take over the White House, and Secret Service Black Ops Special Forces Seal Team Ninja Mission Impossible Flames-Comin-Out-De-Side Agent Gerard Butler is the fly in the ointment, … Read More

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A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD

Poffy The Cucumber

Double the McClane, Triple the Explosions, One Wisecrack Too Many. A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD starts with a drum solo– I mean, car chase. Car chases are, after all, the drum solos of movies. To make it more interesting than other drum solos out there today, director John Moore (padawan to John Woo, judging by the amount of mayhem) … Read More

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GOOD WILL HUNTING

Poffy The Cucumber

Beautiful mind versus beautiful beard. All hail the *intelligent* screenplay! GOOD WILL HUNTING pairs “Bahston” boys Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in their first, and arguably most powerful, bromance to date (excepting maybe their turns as marauding angels in Kevin Smith’s DOGMA); written by Damon and Affleck, who deserve every inch of their little gold man (Best Screenplay 1998), a … Read More

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