YEAR ONE

Poffy The Cucumber

The Year of Living Safely. Either Jack Black is being reined in with a poor script, squelched by a conventional director, or he’s just plain gettin’ too old for this shit. Maybe a combo-wombo of all three? YEAR ONE is a missed comedic opportunity, crying in the wilderness like Charlton Heston as Moses; a biblical comedy of pamphlet proportions. Black … Read More

KUNG FU PANDA

Poffy The Cucumber

Movie: Chop Socky. Message: Kung Fooey. With astounding cinematography, well-written characters, directorial creativity, incredible technical prowess and stunning animation, KUNG FU PANDA only lacks in one department – its message that Prophecy Is Better Than Practice. Directed with kinetic frenzy by Mark Osborne and John Stevenson like Michael Bay meets John Woo, the awesomeness of the Panda is diluted with … Read More

ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND

Poffy The Cucumber

ETERNAL shines, then dims. Darkness piled upon darkness, steeped in disturbing dissonance; a glutting, suffocating despair; a stultifying of the spirit and a crippling of the ego. No way out, no way out… no, not the movie – my last relationship. ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND opens with a disoriented Joel Barish (Jim Carrey) wondering how he sustained a … Read More

TENACIOUS D THE COMPLETE MASTERWORKS

Poffy The Cucumber

Once every hundred-thousand years or so, when the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow… Not exactly Spinal Tap. Not exactly Martin & Lewis. Not exactly normal. Once in a great while, an act appears that shimmers with such kineticism, such verve and lust, that audiences are scorched into submission – such an act is The Darkness – oh, … Read More

THE CABLE GUY

Poffy The Cucumber

Cable for Nothin’ and your Guilt for Free. “Chip Douglas” (Jim Carrey) is a cable installation guy who gives Steven Kovacs (Matthew Broderick) free cable extras, then psychopathically wields that favor to progress their buddy-ship. An above-average dark comedy, jealously maligned – for the wrong reasons. Incorrectly marketed, burdened by the speculation regarding the largest actor’s salary in the world … Read More