3 RING CIRCUS

Poffy The Cucumber

Circus of Pain. In the first film appearance of Martin and Lewis, 1949’s MY FRIEND IRMA, Jerry Lewis was “written in” as a sidekick to Dean Martin’s character, who was integral to the plot. 5 years and 11 films later, now Dean is the fifth wheel in 3 RING CIRCUS. Jerry is Jerome “Jerry” Hotchkiss, and Dean is Pete Nelson, … Read More

LIVING IT UP

Poffy The Cucumber

Sham – Wow! Homer Flagg is dying of radiation poisoning. His last wish is to visit New York. An avaricious New York editor, hoping to boost sales of his newspaper, brings Homer and his exclusive doctor on an all-expenses-paid final fling to New York. But Homer’s not really dying. His doctor made up the disease by mistake – and continues … Read More

SUDDENLY

Poffy The Cucumber

Suddenly Moral Ambiguity. An assassination attempt on the president of the United States – by Ol’ Blue Eyes! In a bucolic American town named SUDDENLY, three men posing as FBI take a residential family hostage, using the family’s house as a vantage point to assassinate the president. Frank Sinatra (FROM HERE TO ETERNITY, 1953) is John Baron, the crazy-eyed leader … Read More

GODZILLA

Poffy The Cucumber

Tampering in Godz domain… Giant monster terrorizes Tokyo. From the depths of hell it came, roaring, spitting fire, destroying civilization; black of heart and devoid of empathy. And it probably had a really small brain too. It was called – The United States of America… People think they know Godzilla. Even you think you know Godzilla. No, you don’t. That … Read More

THEM!

Poffy The Cucumber

Anty Heroes. Giant ants – irradiated by atomic bomb testing – overrun the Californian desert, and big white Californian men are there to save the day. In 1954, atomic power and its “radiation” was the driving device behind 10,000 shitty B-movies. THEM! is one of them. What sets it apart is that director Gordon Douglas and the cast are taking … Read More

CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON

Poffy The Cucumber

Monsters as men and chicks as objects. Not much depth in this Lagoon… Scientists discover a prehistoric “gill-man” in the Amazon. And kill it. A linear, basic monster thriller, CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, opens “scientifically” by narrating the cooling of the Earth and alluding to evolution to set up the premise that there may be unknown species skulking deep … Read More

A HARD DAY’S NIGHT

Poffy The Cucumber

Mop toppery mockery. A legendary band, The Beatles, in a crap film, A HARD DAY’S NIGHT, that resonates as legendary because The Beatles are in it. In this first of the two Beatles films (the other being HELP! 1965), real life rock band The Beatles play a band called The Beatles, who travel from Liverpool to London for a television … Read More

APACHE

Poffy The Cucumber

Corn-y Apache. APACHE: yet another grandiose insult to the Native American people, pretending in its own racist way to be a tribute. To watch the original trailer for APACHE, one would think it is about Apache Massai (Burt Lancaster) waging war on the White Eyes against their snide peace treaties to the Native Americans. It fails to mention how White … Read More