KING OF KINGS

Poffy The Cucumber

Jesus: The Man, The Myth, The Model. KING OF KINGS is the definitive Catholic document: not really religious, not really holy, not really accurate. Just the way Catholics like it. This movie did for Jesus what Richard Burton did for Roman accents. Being raised in a Catholic household and inculcated to believe that my every living act should be aimed … Read More

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KICKING AND SCREAMING

Poffy The Cucumber

Aiming Low, Scoring Lower. KICKING AND SCREAMING is simply a Disney Message waiting to happen. Phil Weston (Will Ferrell) coaches a little league soccer team of shiftless misfits against his super-competitive dad, Buck (Robert Duvall), whose team is top dog. As counter-intuitive as it may seem in pitting Duvall against Ferrell as rival coaches, think how absolutely ludicrous it is … Read More

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KINSEY

Poffy The Cucumber

A Cocksure Man. Apparently, Kinsey had a big one. For a pioneer of world-shaking sex research, that’s one helluva hook. And straight from the ‘truth is better than fiction’ bin – his wife had a small one… Liam Neeson is biologist Alfred C. Kinsey, who was single-handedly responsible for bringing sobriety and scientific method to the wild-eyed speculation and downright … Read More

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KELLY’S HEROES

Poffy The Cucumber

From Zeroes to Heroes. World War II. A small troop of American soldiers surrounds the German-occupied French village of Claremont, closing in slowly over the rooftops and through the ruins. Thirty miles behind enemy lines, isolated from their own army, one Sherman tank their only armored support against three superior German Tiger tanks, they’re not here to fight a battle. … Read More

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KING KONG

Poffy The Cucumber

The King Is Dead! Long Live The King! There must be a country song that goes – How can something so good become something so bad? Unleashed on an unsuspecting Depression-era American public when “talkies” were not yet five years old, with old Masters like Chaplin still releasing silent films and heroes like Gary Cooper, Spencer Tracy and John Wayne … Read More

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KING KONG 2005

Poffy The Cucumber

Yes! We Have No Bananas! Pure entertainment. Twenty-five hairy-bottomed, big-dumb-galoot feet of it. And nothing else. Despite the ubiquitous refrain of beauty and beast subtexts and alienation metaphors and caveats against taming nature, searching for deeper meaning within this wholly implausible tale will only lead to senseless cavil and being considered the big ponce for taking it so seriously in … Read More

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KISS SYMPHONY

Poffy The Cucumber

Elevator Muzak pumped with testicular dynamite. It’s KISS Meets The Phantom Of The… Opera. Like the great Godzilla matchups of old, it’s KISS versus the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra. And all Strauss breaks loose. The machine started rolling on the band’s fourth live album in 2000, but politics (and Ace Frehley’s launch off KISS planet) shelved that endeavor. Three years later, … Read More

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