IRON MAIDEN FLIGHT 666

Poffy The Cucumber

Maiden Voyage. An incredible Iron Maiden backstage pass! For fans, non-fans and devil-worshippers alike. IRON MAIDEN FLIGHT 666 is not just onstage footage coupled with staged interviews. It is backstage, onstage, offstage and everything in between, settling in comfortably with heavy metal band Iron Maiden on their 2008 “Somewhere Back In Time” World Tour, which includes shows in Third World … Read More

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INSIDIOUS

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Not Normally this Para. Uh-oh. I need to turn on the lights… INSIDIOUS is one of the few modern horror films that is truly scary. Not many movies can hold your nerves hostage like THE EXORCIST or THE OMEN, but INSIDIOUS comes close, with atmospheric direction, blood-chilling sequences and lots of screeching violins. A family with three kids moves into … Read More

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IN THE LOOP

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So you like a little politics with your swearing… IN THE LOOP is a thunder-paced, dialogue-driven British comedy with corruption more insidious than SYRIANA and dialogue more fierce than PULP FICTION. Simon Foster (Tom Hollander) is a small-thinking, mealy-mouthed, indecisive, powerless British politician (i.e. your average politician, British or otherwise), craving to be taken seriously in the worst way. After … Read More

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INCEPTION

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Dreaming in Black and Baby Blue. Who was it that said, “Leo is soooo dreamy”? Everyone. So what’s all the fuss over INCEPTION? It’s Leo being dreamy; that is, appearing in people’s dreams. And hasn’t Leo appeared in ALL our dreams at some point? Ahem! Onward… Written, produced and directed by Christopher Nolan, INCEPTION proves once again that while everyone … Read More

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INVICTUS

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Pigskin Parable. Morgan Freeman gets South Africa to cheer together in a funny accent. INVICTUS follows South African president Nelson Mandela (Freeman) in 1995 as he fanatically throws his support behind the national rugby team, the Springboks, using them as a symbol to unify his nation riven by apartheid. It was a long shot, to be sure; he placed his … Read More

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IT MIGHT GET LOUD

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Whole Lotta Bruv. Three innovative guitarists three generations apart are brought together to talk guitar, live guitar and play guitar: Jack White, dynamo revolutionary red meat raw talent; Jimmy Page, who, along with Ritchie Blackmore, carved from caged lightning every riff that rock has ever known, and The Edge, who wears a nice wool cap. Written and directed by Davis … Read More

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THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS

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The Distractionarium of Heath Ledger. Color-screaming and wonder-dreaming, Terry Gilliam’s adventure fantasy THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS might have been one of his better characteristically surreal dark comedies had his star Heath Ledger not been claimed by that darkest of comedies – death. We watch this MUNCHAUSEN-like parable unfold with the constant distraction in the back of our heads that … Read More

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IT’S COMPLICATED

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Glengarry Glen Ruse. Writer-director Nancy Meyers discovers in her late 50s what all men realize in their early 20s – that you can ALWAYS go back to previous panty. And it’s not wrong or right or immoral or unethical. As long as you do it behind everyone’s back. Alec Baldwin shows us how to Always Be Closing in IT’S COMPLICATED, … Read More

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THE ISLAND

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Attack of the Clones. You know what they say: Every man is an island. Unless he has a clone. Then he’s an archipelago. Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson discover they are clones living in an underground community, being cultivated for rich people as “harvestable beings” for their body parts. And who wouldn’t want body parts from Ewan McGregor and Scarlett … Read More

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IRON MAN 2

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Jumping the Stark. The first IRON MAN movie was a planet-crusher. IRON MAN 2, well, maybe it could crush a small moon or something. It’s still a full-fledged, fun-filled ferrous romp, but, like all superhero sequels, suffers from cramming us with characters and classic storylines in its desperate need to impress. My hole feels stretched. Not in that good way … Read More

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IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT

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Before Eddie Murphy, there was MISTER Tibbs. Eddie Murphy’s proclamation of being a “nigger with a badge” in 48 HRS., though a wrecking ball for its time, pales when weighed against the first “nigger with a badge” to do some real psychological damage to white supremacy – Sidney Poitier in IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT. Poitier is Virgil Tibbs … Read More

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THE INFORMANT

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A little less corn, a little more syrup. From its ugly orange posters to its silly, misleading theatrical trailers, everything about THE INFORMANT is an exercise in bad marketing. Supposedly based on a true story, Matt Damon is Mark Whitacre, a VP at the agricultural corporation Archer Daniels Midland in Decatur, IL, who agrees to turn informant for the FBI … Read More

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INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

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Gloriously Bastardly. Quentin Tarantino loves cinema. Even the characters in his movies talk cinema. And the ones who aren’t talking cinema still seem to realize they’re in a damn fine piece of it. And the major plot point of Tarantino’s latest cinematic masterpiece, INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, revolves around the screening of a movie! Tarantino knows cinema so intimately, he smashes a … Read More

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THE INVENTION OF LYING

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More Invention Required. Something funny happened to Ricky Gervais on his way to becoming a film star: something funny stopped happening. THE INVENTION OF LYING starts as a fantastic original idea, fleshed into hilarious absurdity by Gervais, then slips in the puddle of Romantic Comedy – and you know what happens when you hit your brain on that pavement. In … Read More

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I THINK I LOVE MY WIFE

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I think I hate this movie. Chris Rock is a powerful force. I love the guy. But in I THINK I LOVE MY WIFE, this mighty black man looks mighty beige. Even in the lamest of his starring vehicles, Rock’s individual voice and common sense messages shine through. But the character he plays in LOVE MY WIFE is a wishy-washy … Read More

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I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY

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Totally not gay. Adam Sandler is not funny. Kevin James is not funny. But put them together in a movie – and they’re still not funny. I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY finds Chuck (Sandler) and Larry (James) as two straight firemen who pretend to be gay married partners for the sake of insurance benefits for Larry’s kids, that … Read More

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ICE AGE: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS

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On its merry way to extinction… Part road movie, part dinosaur actioner, and fully gushing with family values, ICE AGE: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS is the third and most spectacular in the ICE AGE series – and probably the least interesting. If you’re not as tired of these characters as I am, you’ll enjoy Manny the Mammoth (Ray Romano), Sid … Read More

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THE INFORMERS

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Blonde on Blande. Billed as “the next Mickey Rourke movie” (after the award-winning THE WRESTLER, 2009, even though he filmed this prior to WRESTLER) and tagged as “Brad Renfro’s last screen appearance” (before his untimely death), and written by Bret Easton Ellis (AMERICAN PSYCHO, 2000), it is surprising what a box office failure THE INFORMERS was, going straight-to-DVD so fast … Read More

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IN BRUGES

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Quentin Tarantino’s THE ODD COUPLE. Humor so black and ironic, it’s like stabbing nuns with the same ruler they used to rap your knuckles during piano lessons. IN BRUGES. It’s in Belgium. It’s where mismatched hitmen Ken (Brendan Gleeson) and Ray (Colin Farrell) are sent by Harry the Boss (Ralph Fiennes) to lay low after a hit, to await his … Read More

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THE INTERNATIONAL

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Resistance is Futile. When one of the world’s largest international banks is discovered brokering covert arms deals with China and the Middle East… well, who’s really surprised these days? In THE INTERNATIONAL, it seems everyone is. Louis Salinger (perpetually unshaven Clive Owen) and Eleanor Whitman (Naomi Watts, sporting the most atrocious American accent since Gerard Depardieu) are international police who … Read More

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